I have checked a lot of things and I don't think it has come to anything yet.But you really never know.Thank you for the advise and I will get the book.I have the old DB book but I will get the new one.There is a lot of don'ts on the list.She doesn't know what she wants to do yet.Like I said he was a good friend of mine and the people we run around with.I found out that everyone that is in our inner circle knows what is going on.I checked her text messages and it seems that everyone is checking on her but no one except one family has even checked out how I am doing.I tried to talk to my wife yesterday and she got mad and left and went to her girl friends house around the corner.She was there for about 3 hours.Said that she drank alot while she was there.I saw that she texted the other man when she left here.She told me that he showed up there for about 1/2 hour and her statement was that "HE RESPECTS YOU VERY MUCH AND IS BACKING OFF TIL WE SEE THIS THRU" Which I stated to her if he respected me he would of never put himself in this position that we are in now.I did call him and talk to him when I found out she had feelings for him.I was mad and told him to stay the hell away from my wife .He told me that they have been talking and that she is persuing him. My wife also told me this and I think all of our friends too.So she is very out in the open about this with the people we are close with. She got mad yesterday because while we were talking we both relized that I have been trying to change and she won't let me.I think it hit her like a ton of bricks and she got very mad and left.I have been trying to change but everytime I do something nice she always says why are you trying now ? Where were you the last 7 years?I have tried to put my arm around her but she always pulls away.I told her we can't change anything unless she is willing to forget and start new.She relized that she won't let me start to change and she didn't like this.We talked about counsling and ways to work it out.She didn't say anything about the counsling good or bad but it seems like she is doing a lot of thinking lately. She told me that I need to give her space to figure this out.I will try some of the things that you people have suggested and see what happens. I think she just thought that she could just move from a 19 year marrige to being with this man and nothing would change.Both of our boys are very mad at her. I tried to get her to talk to them yesterday but when she did she was sugar coating everything and not telling them everything.She doesn't need to tell them everything but I told her that they should here it from her and not anybody else because we live in a small town.When we talked about everything the first day (Tuesday) she wanted to get out and get a dissolution and go our seperate ways. She did not want to talk about anything.Now I don't know what she wants to do.Thanks again for the advice.I will try very hard.
