Today was as if nothing had been said...UNTIL he realized that I was back on my feet so to speak...me acting as if...
He tried once again to pull me in and I said...YOU know how I feel and you know what I want, we DO NOT need to nor am I going to go in this circle again...I am NOT arguing about it ANYMORE!
BOY did that shut him up!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
He tried once again to pull me in and I said...YOU know how I feel and you know what I want, we DO NOT need to nor am I going to go in this circle again...I am NOT arguing about it ANYMORE!
That is just plain AWESOME! Set a boundary and did not project control...Love it
long story short, my father has been living with us...major issues with stress on the marriage and family life...
well h and dad get into it! being we are moving, dad would obviously come with...
h says he is not moving with "US", he can find somewhere else to live...dad says fine...grow up...ill find my own place...back and forth it was just crazy...where am I IN the middle?
NO...I have said on numerous occasions that he living with us...even b4 h left, was NOT GOOD! that it was not good for marriage or family life!
I LOVE my dad with ALL of my heart...BUT...he is capable of living on his own...simply chooses not to! he is older, set in his ways and truly just miserable! NEVER has a nice thing to say to anyone about anything! this is not fair again to marriage or family! he takes part in NOTHING and just wants to be the center of everything...everyone should feel sorry for him type thing? why because HE chooses to live the way he does...
so they both leave, im visibly upset...feeling like i have to choose between the 2! just plain stupid! and these 2 men say I need to grow up? IM the ONLY one acting like an adult!
I dont want to live with my dad, I want to live with my husband!
H has been really coming around...wtf do I do now?
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
yes Jack...AND h hardly ever gets...or got the loving wife or happy children when he would come in through the door! so much had already usually transpired throughout the day...trying to tip toe around dad...everyone is/was made to be miserable...
I am believing now...after this last episode that this has been a MAJOR factor for h too! even tho out of respect he has always just tried to deal with it!
WAKE UP CALL to all involved!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
Not even the kids should come first. If you don’t have a strong M, your kids don’t have a strong foundation for their lives. The M should always come first and the kids second. OK, God first, but you get my meaning.
Jack has it right, side with H. It’s the only thing you can do. You do agree with him, why even feel like you have to make a choice here?
Sounds like dad living with you is not a good plan. Boundary time.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
With h gone and d here...it drives me crazy...its not so much that I have to choose between the 2...I know my h comes first...I have been saying ALL of these things since b4 h left...it is a complete control thing...d and daughter h and wife...maybe control isnt the right word...a power struggle of sorts...between the males??
who knows...either way when dad goes...its still no guarantee h will come home...will remove a BIG stressor though for all and living like this just simply isnt healthy!
I also KNOW dad will be more relaxed and comfortable too! no dogs, loud children...the hustle bustle of a young family! its too much for him!
well ill keep posting...gonna journal...need it right now! thanks for listening and commenting!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
