BTW - as a teacher, I think under morality codes for teachers and superintendants, an affair could be seen as a career issue for the latter if any 'indiscretion" was occuring at a school site.
Teachers can be held account for many public realm issues by their Teacher Association. A letter to the school board about an incident where the super was being super to a teacher at a school dance or event where students are present could lead to consequences in my province.
OTM-
I assume this was meant for me. If not, apologies LSG.
I don't know if I could get any of the teachers to back me up on this. A teacher at the school is one of my sources. Of course, no one has witnessed anything concrete. But they all suspect. How much proof would one need?
Wow is all I got to say. Today out pretty good. I was very busy from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep. I started mad and angry to sad and emotional to happy and glad.
I found out a lot of information that was help for me going ahead in this divorce with my W. I am a little more optimistic and positive. I need to be to keep my kids. It has to be that way.
I did tell the W that I have been in contact with OMW for about a month now. I though it did not bother her at first, but I hit the right buttons, and she became very angry at me.
She questioned how I could interfere in someone else's family, and I said the way you have been. I asked her if she thought it was okay for both of them to cheat on their families while they are still married.
I told W I felt bad for what the OMW is going through. She snickered and told me that it was the other way around. She said she heard from neighbors that it was bad for the OM. She said that these third parties back up his lies. I told her that the OMW had neighbors that felt differently. That she has not heard her both sides of the story. W was telling me that there are two sides to every other story, and I asked her if she had heard the OMW side, and she said "no"
She tried to blame me for the job for our problems and other things. She said that the A is the not the reason for our divorce. I told her she should have divorced first or worked on problems and not have an A. I told her that I may not have a job, but I have always loved her and the children and been here everyday for them, and I asked her when she is out late with the OM is she here for the kids. No response. I told her that there is no justification for cheating, and she can try to spin it anyway she wants. There was more, but I cannot remember.
She said she was taking a movie back, but was gone for over two hours. I told her before she left that she better hurry to go tell him.
She took a shower when she came home and said nothing to me. I am sure they are very worried and pissed
I told her I will do whatever it takes to protect my kids from the OM and that his wife needed to protect herself.
It felt so good to do this after last night. I was so glad to have it out in the open for once. It was a great feeling to me.
I have a lot to do tomorrow, but I feel ready to do it.
Last edited by LSG; 05/19/1006:02 AM.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Fellow DB'ers should possibly provide support in various ways, especially if they are in similar locations/industries/circles. It is a small world, and this can be a tremendous advantage used properly.
She questioned how I could interfere in someone else's family, and I said the way you have been. I asked her if she thought it was okay for both of them to cheat on their families while they are still married.
Good!
It is amazing how we can get sidetracked into arguments of if the OM or OMW had it worse. Stay focused to your goals - be polite, kind. Your kids will only have more respect for you, and you'll have a better say in court if it comes to that.
I honestly feel terrible for you, but I am excited for what the change in circumstances may lead to. Being stuck waiting is painful.
Still...focus on the goal - happy kids, happy you, and a feeling of being a good man even if your wife wasn't able/willing to be a good woman. Maybe she'll change, maybe not. Hours and days can make a difference toward good or bad, nevermind weeks.
I won't offer hugs, but I hope your kids can give that to you on my behalf~
I have been nonstop busy yesterday and today with all this documents and work and everything else.
She has been back to her crappy, rude attitude and trying to get kids to like her. It just disgusts me that she has made no effort for the family all these months, and now that we are in the process of divorce she wants to be the perfect mom. It is just despicable how she is try to take over everything at home.
I guess the judge will decide her soon.
Good luck to her! She will not be happy like she thinks.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I hate the emotional rollercoaster I am on right now. It just never seems to end. When I received the divorce papers, I was really angry.
The next day, I just started crying talking to my parents. I know I am pathetic! I still love my W if anyone can believe that. Pathetic! I am sick to my stomach over all this too. Pathetic! I am stressed about filling out the divorce papers. Pathetic! I want a high powered attorney. Pathetic!
I am going to work on them this Friday,and I hope I to take it one step at a time.
I am just Pathetic these days!!!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
The next day, I just started crying talking to my parents. I know I am pathetic! I still love my W if anyone can believe that. Pathetic! I am sick to my stomach over all this too....
How is that pathetic, LSG? Isn't divorce ranked as one of the highest stressor humans face - especially men? Add on an affair...you're moving still, so just don't get caught into depression. Each day, list what you thank God for and what you hope for...or whatever helps you get through the day. Hug your kids. Cry to your parents and close friends.
Just keep moving forward in ways that you will be proud of in 20 years. If that is toward your wife - great. If away, you do what you have to.
One problem we have on these boards, or at least I have, is letting the sadness of another's sitch get to me resulting in worse actions in my own marriage. Look at your actions objectively as you can, perhaps with your IC. Make sure you are not acting out of stubborness, anger, malice, hate, etc.
Then, act. Be ready to reverse directions if possible or needed. But act. Make your kids, yourself, your wife (or xwife), family, and God proud of you.
You are not pathetic. You are very hurt and perhaps feel victimized by the affair. I and others may agree or disagree with what you do or don't do. But, no one is living your life but you and to some degree, your kids. Fight the negative feelings and comments...act right when everyone is wrong.
The next day, I just started crying talking to my parents. I know I am pathetic! I still love my W if anyone can believe that. Pathetic! I am sick to my stomach over all this too....
How is that pathetic, LSG? Isn't divorce ranked as one of the highest stressor humans face - especially men? Add on an affair...you're moving still, so just don't get caught into depression. Each day, list what you thank God for and what you hope for...or whatever helps you get through the day. Hug your kids. Cry to your parents and close friends.
Just keep moving forward in ways that you will be proud of in 20 years. If that is toward your wife - great. If away, you do what you have to.
One problem we have on these boards, or at least I have, is letting the sadness of another's sitch get to me resulting in worse actions in my own marriage. Look at your actions objectively as you can, perhaps with your IC. Make sure you are not acting out of stubborness, anger, malice, hate, etc.
Then, act. Be ready to reverse directions if possible or needed. But act. Make your kids, yourself, your wife (or xwife), family, and God proud of you.
You are not pathetic. You are very hurt and perhaps feel victimized by the affair. I and others may agree or disagree with what you do or don't do. But, no one is living your life but you and to some degree, your kids. Fight the negative feelings and comments...act right when everyone is wrong.
AGREE ^^^
This is the hardest thing any of us have ever had to deal with. What you are feeling is, dare I say, normal. Don't hold it in, get rid of it and move on. Of course, don't let her see it. She will only see strong and confident LSG.
It is impossible to see from where you are at right now, but it does get better. You have strength you don't know you have, trust me. I, like many others here, have been where you are right now. It sucks. You will get through it. I guarantee it!
I have to start working on the divorce papers today for my response to my W's divorce petition. I am so overwhelmed by the whole process. I have to work on this today. I am trying to find an attorney and a divorce loan for helping me with this process. I am so concerned about this and having no job. I guess I have very little time to do what needs to be done.
I hope I do not cry again this morning. W says she has some going away party tonight, so she will be gone for awhile. I need the peace and quiet now more than ever.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
The next day, I just started crying talking to my parents. I know I am pathetic! I still love my W if anyone can believe that. Pathetic! I am sick to my stomach over all this too....
How is that pathetic, LSG? Isn't divorce ranked as one of the highest stressor humans face - especially men? Add on an affair...you're moving still, so just don't get caught into depression. Each day, list what you thank God for and what you hope for...or whatever helps you get through the day. Hug your kids. Cry to your parents and close friends.
Just keep moving forward in ways that you will be proud of in 20 years. If that is toward your wife - great. If away, you do what you have to.
One problem we have on these boards, or at least I have, is letting the sadness of another's sitch get to me resulting in worse actions in my own marriage. Look at your actions objectively as you can, perhaps with your IC. Make sure you are not acting out of stubborness, anger, malice, hate, etc.
Then, act. Be ready to reverse directions if possible or needed. But act. Make your kids, yourself, your wife (or xwife), family, and God proud of you.
You are not pathetic. You are very hurt and perhaps feel victimized by the affair. I and others may agree or disagree with what you do or don't do. But, no one is living your life but you and to some degree, your kids. Fight the negative feelings and comments...act right when everyone is wrong.
Nice post OTMT.
LSG, nothing to add except I will pray for you and your family.
Strength and Honor
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
