2 weeks left to DB

[newmama]

Hi Piano! OK I am just quoting the emails between you and your H just to refresh my memory:

I sent him an email saying I am done, I withdraw all my emotions and feelings, to collect all his belongings by Friday, to stay away from the hospital, that he would get a call when he can see the baby, and that we can leave all the financial stuff to lawyers. I also said I hoped he found good help and that things worked out for him.

This is WH's reply:
(wife)
I will not come to the hospital if you don't want me to.
I will however assert again what I strongly believe is important for our child's sake as well as for me:
I'd like to be able to meet our child straight after the birth.
I also want our child to share both our family names.
I will call your parents to arrange the pick up of my belongings.
(husband)

by the way-interesting that he didn't reply to your comment about leaving the financial stuff to the lawyers

If anyone can suggest some wording to help with my reply to the effect of:

- we agree on the name so don't worry there
- it may be tricky for you to meet the baby straight after birth given that things between us have deteriorated, but that i intend to invite him to meet as soon as mother and baby are ready

and this is not essential & I want to avoid sermonising, but if I can, I would like to ask if he beleive it's important 'for the child's sake' to have some parenting plan or other on offer from him?

Anybody?

Essentially I think you stick to not being friendly, not being angry- just matter of fact, like WH's tone (so I agree with BD!) The reason is that if you are happy one day, angry the next, telling him you are done, then reaching out-- yikes! He won't take anything you say or do seriously! Although you ARE pregnant so of course your emotions are all over the place! lol!

So (change to your words) something like this???
Yes, I agree that the baby should share both family names. I will invite you to meet the baby as soon as she and I are ready. Please let me know what your idea of the parenting plan looks like.

Like Gatsby said, whatever method you want to use, I agree that you should do your best to be consistent! As Fourleaf says, an invitation to have him be a part of your child's life is important also so he can't say later "I WANTED to be in D's life but her mother refused to let me!"