The dreaded LIMBO

[4luv]

Something I wanted to add that my husband bought up during one of our recent conversations:

1. He DID notice my changes before I moved out. The changes that I was making to improve made him mad while I was with him but after I moved out he started to remember and miss the things I would do. He was still seeing OW but my changes were noticeable and he would often say "4luv wasn't really bad" or "why am I even cheating with OW". This all came from my husband without me even mentioning anything about my changes or anything about the relationship. He just bought it up. So our WS do notice our changes. Husband said what made him mad at the time he was in his affair is that he didn't understand why I was being all nice and helpful and trying to do the things that he had wished I would do before the affair.

2. HE thought about me all the time after I moved out and wouldn't call him. He would check my facebook page just to get an idea of what I was up to because I wouldn't talk to him about my life once I moved out. I thought this was funny because I felt like I was the WORST DBer but I guess it was a 180 from my usual talkative self with husband before all of this. The moral is that you have to focus on yourself, GAL, and be vague. I guess it is human nature to have that which is mysterious and out of reach.

3. Husband says he wished I wouldn't taken all of that crap from him. He says that he feels he needed help. He wishes that I would have approached him and said "Look, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WHO YOU ARE DOING IT WITH AND IF YOU DON'T QUIT THEN I AM LEAVING." He wishes that I would not have taken crap for so long. When I said you should appreciate the fact that I took your crap in order to save our marriage, my husband replied "why should I appreciate you taking crap? No one should take crap."