Jeannine, Count me in on that toast! I think we all feel hopeless at some time or another. We need to have FAITH that we can come out of this better people, and hopefully with a stronger M. Faith is believing in something you can't see. My Christmas wish for everyone on here is to keep the FAITH. 2004 will hopefully be a better year for all of us. Jeannine, it looks like you've got a jump start on that! Thanks for encouraging all of us-it means so much to so many. May PEACE be with you and in you. Rachael
I can certainly testify to the value of hope...last year tonight I stayed up until 5 a.m. painting three little wooden cat carvings to match our real kitties.
They were my Christmas gift to CJ...I'd found out only three weeks earlier about OW. I ALMOST wrote him a note with the gift...something along the lines of..."you'll have us with you" (from the cats)...I pictured him putting them somewhere in his new apartment...or pitching them.
But I crumpled that note, with it's negative overtones and let the gift stand on its own. Those kitties have sat on our coffee table ever since.
A year has gone by, our house is decorated, our holiday plans all set...there IS HOPE...thank you for reminding us, and reminding us to be thankful for what we have.
Jeannine -- Am I too late for the champagne toast? I hope not! Here's to the wisdom and peace that comes with standing bravely in front of the very thing that terrifies us...whatever that is!
Happy Holidays, friend! Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Well this morning, H left at 8:30am to go do some work on the Parkside property. Gotta get it ready for rental.
I had to do a few errands later in the morning and dropped by to grab some oranges off of our tree there. Just before I left, I said to H something about what we should do in regard to a certain company (who shall remain nameless) and any inquiry by them as to why our house is near empty. I'm not trying to be mysterious here, I just don't want to divulge details.
Anyway, H looks at me and says "I've been thinking about that, and I think that we can just say to anyone who asks, that we've seperated and it's just me living here now." Okay, if you know my history, you'll know why this did not sit well with me.
I said nothing and tried to keep my face from telling on me. He quickly added "I knew you wouldn't like that!".
Oh really...then why the hell did you say it!? And no...I did not say that outloud.
I lightly chuckled to cover up my mounting displeasure and politely volleyed back "I just think that we could come up with another reason". He dropped back, "Yea, sure...it was just in case anyone asks."
As we kissed goodbye, he scrunched up his face and asked "Are you okay?" I popped on a relaxed smile and said "Sure". "Well, you just look a little "mousey" he spewed, returning his shot into the net. I don't like "mousey", it's not a nice word coming from him.
As I got into the car, I watched my H who was crossing in front of my field of vision and clearly making some sort of face, as if he was reacting to some imaginary person who had thrown a pie at him.
So apparently, I had offended him for not being thrilled over his suggestion.
How dare I be so insensitive to his feelings after all he's done this past year. Eeerrrgh...
As you can see, I'm just a tad bit irritated.
Is he that insensitive? Did he feel annoyed by his own stupidity? Or does it irk him to realize that there is, and may be for some time to come, a persistant lesion that his betrayal has created?
Quote: Or does it irk him to realize that there is, and may be for some time to come, a persistant lesion that his betrayal has created?
Probably... be easy here. The pieces are just tenderly put back together. H may need some reassurrance here (not to negate the fact that you surely need some too...) PATIENCE
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Jeannine, Oh! Those feelings that come on a dime when something is said that hurts! It's bound to happen and it sounds like your H tried to help you through it. When they say something of that nature we jump to comclusions that they are subconciously thinking of what we are hating to hear. I don't think your H has any desire WHATSOEVER to live apart from you. Remember........to look at actions, not words. Still......I know how it makes you feel.We can't run from it, we just have to work through it. Rachael
Well said Rachel, and it's absolutely true Jeannie there will be hundreds of verbal faux paus on your Hs side...and who knows if they're ignorant to their own insensitivity or not but some things will sting you to your core and he will be totally oblivious to the slight.
My H still does it at times...and I admit that at times I hear what I want to hear, rather than what's being said.
Did it again today...but the truth is, our minds wouldn't rush off to those terrible places if they hadn't gone where they did. T2
HoldingOn, be easy here. The pieces are just tenderly put back together. H may need some reassurrance here
Good point. It's important for me to keep this in mind.
RMC, Those feelings that come on a dime
Yep...
I don't think your H has any desire WHATSOEVER to live apart from you.
Thanks, I needed to hear that.
T2, the truth is, our minds wouldn't rush off to those terrible places if they hadn't gone where they did.
Oh so true! I'm sorry to hear that you have had your share of "verbal faux paus", but I do take comfort in hearing that this may be a mere side effect in "the process".
I needed to hear that.