I am bad at advice too, as I am messed up myself, so I think that you should go with what feels ok to you. Personally I would go with the high road, gatsby's option 3. (I guess I'd agree that for the baby's sake, not for his sake, the father should be encouraged to have even a small presence in her life). But maybe high road phrased in a cold, distant way.

But do go with your instinct!
((((piano))))