It's definitely pestering my mind, as I keep going over the past years in my mind. But I'm not exactly in a panic, or feeling desperate. It's strange, and I'm a little unsettled by my own detachment on this.
Perhaps it's going to take some time to sink in, before you experience any emotions other than that unsettling detachment. It must have been a bit of a shock indeed; very surreal. Or, perhaps you've been coping with so much turmoil already that it's 'just another log on the fire'.
However it is, I'm concerned for you and wondering what kind of support system you have right now. You've been so focused on taking care of your kids, I'm wondering who's taking care of you right now!? I'm so glad you're still posting, but a 'real life' support system is important too. I hope you have a shoulder to lean on now, or a good friend who can take you out for a beer, and help get your mind off things for a while.
I'm sorry, I can't quite remember - do you have an IC? I wonder if it might be of value to you right now, to touch base with one if you can. They may be able to help you process it so that it's not weighing so heavily on your mind.
Again, thinking good thoughts for you. Hope you're able to get some rest tonight. Take care, PG.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
