It is a Constantly Variable Transmission (CVT) Subaru and Yugo used them with out much success back in the late 80's early 90's. VW had a Semi Automatic back in the day.. you had to shift it like a manual.. but the clutch was "automatic". Anyway.. I digress. I was really hoping you were gonna explain.. how it worked internally.
"i'm afraid to take a chance. once i buy the tool, i am stuck with it. it may not work and i can't return it. and will resort back to my old familiar tool."
Well.. that is just not really a good cop out. If you use a tool everyday.. you already know what works. You replace the tool with a new one because the old one is worn.. or broke. If the tool is worn.. it does not "fit" the "situation". If it is broke.. well.. it can't be used.
My favorite tool.. is a smile. By a long shot. You can get away with just about anything.. by smiling. Think about it.. if you walk into a room.. and there is someone smiling.. you look at them and retain them in memory. They exude fun. You can hear a smile on the phone. Any telemarketer will tell you part of their training involves a smile. It changes your "attitude".
Try it out.. smile and say something kinda mean to a close friend.
Give a good smile to a unsuspecting random person. You don't have to say a word.. just walk by.. smile and look them in the eyes. Bet you they smile back.
1 person can change things.. with something as simple as a smile.
"honestly, the four statements i made are things i would have likely said. it's to show you that i continue to dig at him. i really don't want to. but it keeps coming back."
Hence my sarcasm.. and long winded talk about tools. That is not what I need from you. I understand you dig at him. I want you to stop it. Dig at me.. that I am ok with.
and free write. No digging. Gather the thoughts.. focus.. smile.. and write me something nice. Show me you.
"i think when the time is right. i'd tell him that when he decided that our marriage was over, i said i would never give up on him. i'm still not giving up on him. the marriage may be over, but i'm not giving up on our friendship. nine years is too much history to throw away. i know he's hurting and if he needs anything, he knows where to find me."
You are waffling. You told me if you D.. there would not be a friendship.
How can he know where to find you? You clearly cannot find yourself. You even said so.
If you can't find you.. how can you possibly expect him to find you? Seems to me you may be waiting a loooong time for that to happen.
"i appreciate the support. i know i'm a handful. you can see in the last few days, i've posted a lot because of my anxiety attack. it's how i get it out of my system. you can see what is going through my head. sometimes it feels like battling an addiction by going cold turkey."
Look at the support you have.. you are not doing this "cold turkey". You raised your hand.. and asked for help. It's here.. now what do you do?
Little hint..
| | | V
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
