WAW and the law of attraction

[Dudess]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too proud.

I don't think you're being too proud. As you said, "still she shows no remorse or willingness to even discuss what happened".

Sometimes I wonder if I should be the one who opens the door.

What if we are falling into that trap of "I thought you didn't care to talk" "Oh, but I only thought that because I thought YOU didn't care"?

But then sometimes, I remember how she has behaved and think I'm exposing myself to yet another of her trademark cold hearted replies.

That could be a concern in many situations, but in the case of an affair . . . I think she needs to be the one to open the door.

I hate myself for even considering this.

Please be kind to yourself F. Your feelings are totally understandable. When we've been rejected by someone important to us, it is important not to also reject ourselves by putting ourselves down for feeling as we do. Just don't act based on those feelings.

Many people feel a need for closure. Others prefer not to discuss anything. It is your life. As long as you don't expect it to work miracles, there's no harm is discussing.

I disagree. I think there can be harm in discussing.

Make sure you walk away with some self respect.

I don't think she's in a position of making me lose what I've gained already.

You are right, she can't make you lose self-respect, only your actions can do that. Act in a way which demonstrates self-respect.

Is she more at ease with what she did because she was able to see I'm fine ?

How should I respond to this "niceness"? I just don't want to take this as false hope.

She may be more comfortable now that it doesn't look like there will be a 'showdown at the OK corral' or moments of high drama. Would this fit with what you know of her?


Re: her notes, I suggest you wait until after the banking is taken care of and then mail with a note as Lotus suggests. I have to admit though, that I would advise differently if you had found a list of things she hated about you.

BTW, are you dating yet?

Nope. I'm meeting new people, yes. Talking to girls more often than I used to but I still feel guilty to cross the line. I'm still married so something inside me feels as if I'm cheating. I need to over come this. Working on that.

Think of it this way, there are situations which only turn around when the LBS becomes interested in someone else. Can you really say that you have done everything possible to save your marriage if you aren't even willing to see other women?