The problem with walking outside and crying is that it's the middle of office hours. I'm really trying to hold it together in the office so that I can prove it's not something that will affect my work (not that most people at work know or anything, but if I randomly burst into tears, they'd REALLY catch on).
Oh, I hear ya on this! I don't know how many times I found myself hiding in a bathroom stall or just getting up from my desk and heading out for a 5 minute break ... my coworkers (except one) were in the dark until recently (and my journey started in January!) but they've told me they knew something was up they just didn't want to interfere. If you can use the internet at work there is a youtube video of people just laughing ... it's corney but it works ... or anything else that would make you laugh ...
Originally Posted By: blind
I can feel the flux of the good/bad moments, and it's when I'm busy or distracted that the good come. I'm starting to worry that I've been pushing forwards so hard that although I feel terrible, the worst hasn't hit yet. Just an odd sensation that I feel like Willie Coyote holding an umbrella with a growing shadow overhead.
Yeah, I've cycled through a few times, and the worst part is it can sneak up on you. The good news is that the opposite is also true ... I remember the first movie I went to see and I was about 45 minutes into it when I realized I hadn't been thinking about my sitch at all - which of course made me think about my sitch ... but within a few minutes I was distracted again.
Originally Posted By: blind
Massage... I don't know... I've not been touched much recently (outside of dancing), and well... everytime I am, even when my mother reaches out and pats my shoulder or tries to hug me, my body shudders uncontrollably... I just don't really know how to deal with it.
This makes me sad ... and it makes me want to hug you but I guess that probably wouldn't help much huh Seriously though, I'm guessing this will get better with time ... and if a massage is out, find another way to pamper yourself ... pedicure ... new jeans ... something
Originally Posted By: blind
It's quite difficult finding new things as I'm in a pretty small town (it's a big named one, but it's still oddly small!). I'm trying to build the social group up, find more things to do with my time.
I hear ya on this too ... I live just outside a town of 35,000 .... and it's the biggest town around for several hours drive ... not too many options here either.
Hang in there ((((blind))))
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
... or anything else that would make you laugh ...
... but within a few minutes I was distracted again.
Seriously though, I'm guessing this will get better with time ... and if a massage is out, find another way to pamper yourself ... pedicure ... new jeans ... something
