Just to let you know..... I'm still alive.

[BeingMe]

I do recall you were forced off the land and home with the children some years back. I would be keeping notes and having them in a safe place --- bank? Something is wrong and I bet there are others with similar stories.

[Between Tears]

BeingMe.... no, not the bank....

It's the big fish located in the small pond. Although, I can say, the Attorney who received my land has keys to one of the banks in town, can enter the bank (actually brought me along one day) during hours the bank wasn't even open, and handed me money for what he called "my Rights to the land". Like I said, I've had all the answers, but it took me until my drive home from work last night to connect all the dots.

When all the answers came,it was like playing Six Degrees of Separation.

It's how Dick went from filing bankruptcy one day into walking into a half million dollar home the next.... and continuing to purchase new cars every year since.

It's how the Judge declared I was "crazy" even though I have three fully licensed and degree'd Psychologist who have reported otherwise, along with saying it is in the best interest of the children to remain with me.

It's how Dick has received a certified letter saying he doesn't owe me any child support, even though on the "books" it shows he owes me thousands of dollars.

It's all the answers....

[Between Tears]

Just had the best day! Spent the morning getting stuff done, then found out D was in town, at a track meet with her school friends. Dick was drinking with his bud, the ex tenant farmer, so I was free to find D and spend what I thought was only going to be a few hours, but turned into 6 hours, with the last 2 with my son and his girlfriend.

It was just us, the way it used to be. We were all jumpy thinking Dick was going to show up soon, and they discussed how it affected us. It was good to hear the kids talk freely, expressing their thoughts. They really do understand, they see the true him, they see what he has done, they have learned to live with him defensively, know exactly how to deal with him... yet, listened closely for the sound of the car he was driving.

What they call it, instead of eggshells, is a show. Even D has said that even when she does exactly what dick wants her to do, he's still not satisfied, not happy with who she is.... I told her to not take it personally, it has nothing to do with her... and she interupted me to say she already knew that, it's he that is not happy with himself. I smiled, and just listened. She's still young enough to think she can show him what he is doing, BUT, there's no chance of that happening.

She did let me know (during a rant about him) that he is still self medicating, still drinking, and it's becoming more heavier as the time goes on. When he drinks, he becomes philisophical, (her description) and then he turns the discussion to me, how I was never happy with anything he did, how he could never make me happy, and then begins to list every mistake I ever made, all my faults, and forces her to listen.

Okay, it's 6 years post divorce, he needs to get over it! D says she knows the truth, and what he has is all justification for what he did, and she can see he is self deluded. She is also talking about coming home as soon as school is out. She misses being a family. She says she feels more acceptance at her friends house than she does with in her Father's house.

Her Father has her walking back and forth from school. Took her keys, stole $250 from her bank account, and told her the bike she bought for $2000 is now his, until she can pay him the $500/month rent. He's taken away her phone, put a pass code on the computer so she can't talk to me, has isolated her from all her friends.

It's only due to my son's girlfriend that I found out she was at the track meet. I couldn't reach my son, and that's because he was with his Father. S gave his phone to D, and D didn't know how to call out on the phone, nor did she know how to text me, otherwise, she would have texted me. She was so surprised to see me at the meet.

Tomorrow my S graduates from High School. There are going to be Socials all over the place, however, the only one I'll go to is my S's girlfriends, which Dick may just show up at. Wish me luck!

Oh, and if your wondering about Jane. Well, D has gotten herself in trouble, all because Jane isn't the brightest bulb in the box, and D tries to communicate with her, sometimes struggling to find words she will understand. Jane sees this in D, becomes upset and feels D is talking down to her, which D isn't, but just trying to find a way to talk with her. Anyway, Jane gets upset anyway, goes to Dick and complains. Dick gets after D for it, and this is a large part of why D is being punished.

Then Dick will turn around and make comment to Jane about her lack of table manners, or sometimes her inability to keep up with him intellectually. D says he's pretty harsh, and she wouldn't do that to Jane, she's just trying to meet her half way.

I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I do see that my family will be back together soon... and we will have the happiness we deserve! Just need a bit more patience, more strength, and keep on moving forward.

[mermaid]

Hi Laughing,
Your post made me cry. I am so happy for you. I know this has been a long time in coming and I know you are not totally there but keep the faith and it will all be yours. You and your family deserve the best. Your children are beautiful and so smart. You did a great job raising them despite everything.

[BeingMe]

So happy for you! Lovely to have these little surprises in life, that allows one to keep hope alive. Time and patience will solve all these issues from your foolish XH.

[Between Tears]

Well, Graduation was great! I walked into the school, the Grads surround me, because they see Dick at the other end of the hall and he was coming towards me. By the time he walks through the crowd, I'm already seated in the gym. Six years of being the kids room Mother had just paid off!

Dick not only brought Jane and all her kids, but also brought his sister, brother in law, brother, his wife and son. I'm glad they were there for S. Me, I was surrounded by a group of people, and happy too.

Graduation went well, although Dick did manage to step up with his camera, often standing in front of me in order to take pictures. Amusing to say the least.

After Graduation, Dick beat me to S's girlfriend's house, however, Jane and her kids remained in the van. Before I arrived, Dick was questioning D about leaving with him. An Aunt piped up during the questioning, well, aren't you S's sister? D replied yes, and said she had been living in California with her Father. The Aunt looked directly at Dick and said "She belongs here." Dick didn't take that well, and just after I stepped foot in the house and was getting hugs from those who were there, Dick left without D. I had both kids to myself for the rest of the evening! Well, until the Senior party, when all the kids left for the event.

During the time D and I talked even more. Found D had been grounded for two weeks for dropping a cheerio on the floor and not picking it up. She didn't realize one cheerio had dropped on the floor until Dick had gone off. She also let me know, both Dick and Jane blame D for Dick drinking more and more as time goes by. She often is yelled at for being "just like your Mother" and at this point, she finds comfort in the statement. She says the next either one of them says it, she's going to come back and say thank God! I've told her it probably won't be a good thing, and it might be best not to say anything at all.

D has confessed she is having problems with her memory, didn't realize how much she missed her friends, how it felt to be close to so many people, and really didn't understand that when she left, her class basically fell apart and wasn't the same. She couldn't understand the impact she had/has on her class, but she did see it when she was at the school. She says she is coming home as soon as she gets out of school.... which gives me time to get all my ducks in a row. I also told her to keep talking to the school counselor, and let her know about what she (D) is experiencing at the house.

A great visit, although hard to see D is in the position she is in. I do see, sitting back quietly has paid off.... now it's time for me to quietly prepare for our future!

[mermaid]

Laughing,

Sounds so good. I know it must be hard to know what d is going through but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am glad you got to spend time with d.

[BeingMe]

I am so glad you got your kids to yourself for the evening, without the ex interfering. That aunt deserves a medal for standing up to ex.

Take care.

[Andabelle]

Dick's web is unraveling.

[job]

I'm glad you've been able to spend time w/your children. The web he has woven for years is starting to unravel. Can we pull the string to finish it off?