I feel and understand your pain and self reflection.
Mind you, you have a bloody long thread and I haven't read through it all, but it certainly starts the same in the neglect on our behalf towards our R's.
Let me catch up....
Regards, Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
