I think when he goes to your friend(s) he is seeking help. Sometimes when we hear it a different way, we get it. I do understand what you mean this being between the two of you but right now he is/was asking for help from where ever he could get because maybe he isn't "hearing" and is trying to avoid upsetting you in the way he presents things. Don't hold it against them...everyone seeks advice from friends(even when they are just the virtual kind. )
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory