Game Point

[tryingtilDorR]

It's been a while since I posted so time for an update. W has slowly been moving out. She is pretty set up over at her new place. She has borrowed some furniture, moved some of ours over, and otherwise is set up with her utilities, etc. Some friends have helped her move.

I am being cooperative in the sense that I am not standing in her way or otherwise putting up any kind of fight. My L had told me to "finesse" her out of the house so that is what I am doing. Good friend of ours has been helping her move and get set up over there - they apologized to me for it but I told them they were helping me out by loaning her furniture, helping her move so she doesn't have to hire movers, etc and that there were no hard feelings (heck I sure wasn't going to help her move).

She stays there one or two nights a week so far, but she will be staying there full time in a few weeks once kids are out of school (or so she says - that is the next big thing I am looking for). I am hoping she is serious about being out full time because this half-in half-out arrangement has the potential for LOTS of problems. I particularly don't like seeing her in my house knowing she can go to her own any time to hook up with OM or whomever.

Other than that, I have met two women and one of them is VERY interested in me. It is kind of interesting, but I initially reached out to her just to get to know her a little and she was very strict, saying that we couldn't have ANY kind of friendship because I was still married, and that she was divorced from an unfaithful husband, etc etc. After I explained my situation a little better she decided to pursue things a little further and now I am a little worried.

First off, if I eventually D and want to re-marry this OW would be a great candidate based upon what I have learned about her. She is about 5 years younger than me but has no children. She never remarried after she divorced for a few reasons but is looking for someone to commit herself to now, but is not neccessarily looking to have her own children. She is very intelligent, interesting, easy to talk to, very giving/loving, would be a great person to have in my children's lives and everyone would really like her.

I am experiencing what W and OM experienced during their EA. The chemical reactions, euphoria, etc. It's all there. However, it also makes me realize how incredibly selfish she was acting - I KNOW that what I am feeling talking to this person is a temporary thing and not permanent but obviously could be with her if I invested in the R for the long haul, but still no substitute for the committed relationship/M I had with the mother of my children, no matter what problems we might have been having at the time or how much distance had been created.

Love is something you DO, not something you FEEL. Right now I FEEL it but what I had tried to convince WAW of over the past 18 months is that we needed to DO love in a long term relationship to make it last.

I have had these kinds of discussions with this OW and she totally gets it and has told me she is falling in love with me, so I am a little worried since I am not exactly 'available' but see no harm in making new friends like her but I might have given too much of myself in all these conversations.

Treading lightly, finessing WAW out of the house so she can be with OM and I don't have to see her, and trying to figure out how to handle what I am feeling for this OW right now. I could let it go immediately - mind over matter - which is something WAW was too confused/hurt/in too much pain to do with her OM in order to save her M and family.

Amazing to look at this from the other side and realize that it is STILL a choice - nobody HAS to do this even if they have the feelings I am experiencing for this OW.