Quote: Selective memory and selective hearing is pretty common, huh?
Apparently it's as common as fruit flies on a compost heap.
Rachael,
Quote: Sometimes they change things just for the sake of it-not that it's better. Who decides this stuff anyway???
Folks who have decided that 'democracy' is a hinderance for them.
Quote: I'm going through some kind of withdrawal here. I'm scared to death to stop initiating contact with my H for fear he'll hook up with the OW. He may already have. He says no, but you know.... the truth Ain't in em'!
I know how you feel. But I also know from personal experience that anything viewed by our spouses as 'persuing', 'clingy' or 'negative' will work AGAINST us.
When that horrible feeling lands on you, come hang out with us.
Or do something else that will help you ride out the tide. This awfulness will pass. Maybe not as quickly as you are wishing for, but it WILL pass.
How about writing out a 'I won't do any of this stuff' list making it as specific as possible. Such as - I will NOT ask H questions about OW - period. I will NOT have a long face when H is in the same room. And so on.
Then make out a list of what you WILL do. I WILL smile at H when he walks in the door. I WILL go to the store and get 'Five Love Languages' and read from it at least once a day until I finish it. (Hint-hint.) And so forth.
Now for the really tough one - try to steer away from thoughts about OW. That business is out of your control and thinking about it will only screw you up. Keep your mind on your goal and how you're going to reach it. Discipline, discipline, discipline. Slave master here.
It's a high-wire act to be sure, sweetie. But you CAN do it. We're right here with you. You are NOT alone.
And yes, you are not the only one to have "violent fantasies".
