Thank you HB, you are right on with your take on H behaviour.
Judging from yesterday, there is no doubt that WH is still far away bouncing around in a stormy sea. For a while I thought that he was getting closer to finding his way to the lighthouse but the sea took him away again.
I'm sorry that I got sucked into a no-win R conversation, that was a weakness on my part and I have to really work on this...he is a selfish manipulator, controller and button pusher right now, I can't let him get to me. Time to go back to the drawing board and work on that.
He feels terrible about what he is doing and by making me the bad guy it alleviates his guilt...I'm guessing.
The other thing that is contributing to his anger is me pulling away, he was very accusingly pointing out yesterday that by not responding to his e-mails I'm being unreasonable and trying to punish him, while he is trying to "help me" trough this and be my friend. I'm the one doing wrong to him. Me "being dark/dim" seems to just make him angry at me so far. Is that just his attempt to have me do what he wants me to? ....is he missing his cake-eating...I'm I messing up his fantasy of having me and her? Or is he actually afraid that he may be loosing me and is trying to control me with his anger...
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He's NOT liking it that you're not going along with what he's doing, and so, he turned on you, punishing you emotionally for that
HB - it sure felt like it yesterday.
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I WILL confront when I see a clear wrong that's done toward me, taking steps to protect myself
I was defending myself yesterday...but it just escalated the confrontation. I was validating also...I must have said 20 times "I'm sorry that you feel that way"
Anyway...yesterday showed me where I need to be right now...as detached as possible and as dim as I can.
Since the meeting he contacted me wanting to see me because he had some business papers to give me...I said just put it in the mail box. Silence from him for a moment and then he said OK. He obviously wanted to see me, maybe he feels bad about how he was in the meeting.
Yesterday I also mentioned that I will have to get an upgrade for my accounting software soon. This morning I received an e-mail asking if he can come over and tune-up my computer and install that software (I wasn't planning to get it until next month). I didn't reply yet...I will, but I'll just put him off.
HB - you were posting at almost 3am my time....were you pulling an all-nigther? Hope you got some sleep
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
