We were apart for 18 months, but the change in him began after his Dad died and that led to severe depression, so perhaps it was 2 years of him being 'emotionally gone' within a 5 year span of depression. I was terribly grief stricken when he left. DBing gave me hope. I agree, that doesnt always lead to reconciliation (rare in fact). My bf has said he cant really explain, but he was almost suicidally depressed and so made bad decisions/choices at that time and felt 'insular' as he said. Dating someone else was just.. more of the same. Bad choice, bad decision, avoidance, justifying leaving me in the first place. He's on a good AD now and past the worst of his grief. I intuitively knew he would come back, he says he can see that himself now looking back. Most importantly, he was a GOOD man, a GOOD partner and worth waiting for, wholeheartedly. Plus I just instinctively knew we'd be fine and be able to put it behind us.
Only you can read your intuition if you feel there is a chance he will come back and only you know if you think he is worth waiting for and if you feel you have a good chance of putting this behind you as a couple.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread