So yes, by all means work on the areas you feel could be strengthened in your own life. I applaud you for being strong enough to engage in such difficult self-reflection. But please, don't bear the full responsibility for what's happened. That's as damaging as if you'd bore none of it. That kind of self-blame is crippling and eventually destroys your self-esteem.
I agree 100%! AC, do NOT put all the blame on you. I read what you wrote and you sound like I did last year. It wasn't true for me, and it's not true for you. A M involves two people. It's great to self reflect and see areas you believe you failed your M, but it is not, and never was, your responsibility to make your W happy under any and all circumstances. Many marriages thrive with one partner very committed to their career and absent much of the time. She is choosing to use that as an excuse for collapsing emotionally and walking away from you and your M. Please try to step back and see how weak your W is acting, and blaming you for the consequences of her weakness. Incredibly toxic. Think about the spouses who deal with year long military deployments, yet are still completely devoted to their M.
I think many of the success stories here involve spouses who BOTH do a lot of self reflection to determine what EACH did to allow the M to fail. AC, do your part, but don't excuse her from her part, and don't allow her to put it all on you.
