When H first left, I sat the kids down and said that their Dad was going through something and had to work on it and think about things...now that he has filed and they know about OW...it has been a little tougher.
see?? I was right about you too- you didn't just say "dad left us. I don't know why." And maybe they see OW as an example of how their dad s "going through something" aka not in his right mind!
Quote:
D11, out of the blue said something about how short OW is...I am only 5'2" and "she is shorter than you Mom!" I could feel my insides bristling...hard to hear about her from my kids mouths!
I am so sorry. That is something I feel grateful for in my sitch-that S can't talk yet so I don't have to hear about it. How do you respond?
thanks for your advice on my thread, CW. I am following it! I am serious about learning from watching how you and WN handle issues with the kids!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hi NM...thanks but I am not perfect! We will see how I am as the kids are around OW more and talk about her more.
I have not had a very good day. Part of it is from being around H's family this weekend and part of it I think is having the truck as it reminds me of H and my Dad.
I made the mistake of looking through the console, not thinking I would find anything as H had cleaned out everything and lo and behold, there is a picture of H and OW...one of those photo booth things you see in a mall. It said Love and had one picture of him kissing her cheek...blech!!! He still had his beard so it was from sometime before he left home.
I wondered if it was left in there on purpose by him or OW since everything else was gone. Guess it doesn't really matter...that is what I get for looking.
Then, I checked out the bank online where H has his loans for the hot rod and bike to see if he has been making his payments and see that he paid off one of the loans. I am wondering where he got the money to do that? I shouldn't be speculating about it at all but definitely something to talk to the L about as I am struggling to get bills paid here!
Also, found out that I can get my name removed off of one of the credit card bills. H will just have to fill out some paperwork. The other one will be trickier since it is just in my name (had his removed a couple of years ago for overspending).
So, my PMA has disappeared. Seems like he is getting off pretty easy in all of this...
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW - I understand where you are coming from when you say that you could feel your "insides bristling" when your D talked about OW. This is a person that we don't respect and wish that she was out of our lives, yet we have no control over her talking to and influencing our children...very hard.
So far WH is keeping OW away from D....hopefully it will stay that way.
(((hugs)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I'm sure that must have been so very hard to see that picture. Since he has not been trying to hide anything from you (like my H did) it very well could have been left there on purpose.
We didn't have kids so I just can't imagine what you are going thru to hear D talk about ow, sickening!
The whole thing is sickening!! I'm sorry you have lost PMA, it does seem like he is getting off pretty easy. But, it's not over yet! Keep the chin up, get in there & fight! I had to do things I never thought I would do but it paid off for me in the long run.
Nothing really earth shaking happened yesterday to change my situation...just in my mind! Working on PMA...
Called H this morning to ask if he could take kids to the dentist Friday. He said he thought he could...I told him the appt. times, he asked for a reminder call and I said thanks, getting ready to hang up and he asked about the truck.
Did I want to trade back? I asked if he'd looked at my car and he said no, but that he would tomorrow. Told him until I knew what was wrong with it, I'd keep the trcuk. Needs truck to haul mower to rental house. Ok. Asked him to call me first.
I think I am at the point that I can ask for the truck AND the vehicle I have been driving. If he wants my vehicle to be a marital asset then his hot rod and motorcyles need to be too.
Plan to call L tomorrow and see what is going on with the D.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I think I am at the point that I can ask for the truck AND the vehicle I have been driving. If he wants my vehicle to be a marital asset then his hot rod and motorcyles need to be too.
Good call CW
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
CW, my H doesn't seem as h*ll bent on the LS and D as he was in the beginning either. I'm not sure if it means that he is having 'second thoughts' or has just gotten comfortable with the way things are. I guess it doesn't really matter except for the limbo. Being in limbo doesn't mean that we can't continue to move forward though.
I am still trying to be prepared to receive LS papers so I don't backslide too much if/when I get them.
