I have two kilts...but...haven't worn them in a bit due to this whole mess. I hope to get back into my music again after XWD (ex wife departure).
Yeah...not sure where XW will get the funds for all this. I got left holding all the debt. She has a new house rental (had to be cosigned by her parents I'll bet), brochures for a new Nissan Altima, travel research for France.....
Unless there is a KerryK sugar daddy out there or another dude with bucks. XW was never great with money and if we couldn't afford things she could 'charge it'.
No jokes, but, I have a set of large pipes and small pipes. The large ones are the Great Highland Pipes. These are the ones you see in parades. Mine are Kintails: Kintail bagpipes
Then, my small pipes, Dhuan Fireside pipes, can be played indoors without scaring your spouse, or, hmmm, future GF away? Fireside bagpipes
As for the kilt, all I can say is St. Patty's day in March is usually FREEZING and, IMO, men weren't constructed to wear a dress in winter.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
[/quote]I am hoping that, being around the corner, she will 'dump' them on me at every chance.[quote]
FIB, I have read your posts here and have to agree that NY really fails at divorce law. Archaic actually. Anyway, my son and X just signed D papers. Their D went smoothly as they were only married Six years and did not have many assets. They do have Twin sons with one being Autistic. One of the reasons my son left is that W liked to party and was never home so son was mother and father to the boys. They have joint legal physical custody. my sons contributes everything( and I mean everything)they need. The school even calls him before they call her as they know how she is.
XW calls him constantly on her days with them asking him to take them which he readily agrees to because he knows that it is the only chance they have for a normal structured life. Heck, he even calls her and asks to take them and she jumps on it. Maybe XW will do the same once reality hits and she is taking care of them by herself with out you there and she wants to live the single life (like my DIL did while married and still continues to do so.) Children put a damper on socializing all the time.
Hopefully this would be the case for you to be able to be with your children more because it seems, for the children, their life will be a lot more structured,calm, and peaceful if they are with you right now.
Keeping you in my prayers JAK
Last edited by JoJo's circus; 05/18/1002:41 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
JoJo...thank you for coming into my thread and leaving your thoughts and prayers.
We've all been children at one point in our lives and all of us know what scared us...what made us happy...what made us sad. So many of us recall times we wished a parent had a catch with us, or took us some place that we had so much fun, or brushed our brow when we had fever.....
For the life of me, I can't understand why so many spouse's who brought children into the world, fail to see the importance that two parents play in the life of a child. The screaming, pawn playing, denigration of the other parent.....why?
Why?
Since this all started, I have met several women who were divorced, one of whom sat on an airplane flight next me. Most were burned pretty badly by a cheating husband. Yet, all of them pushed their kids to be with their father....gave instructions, updates, schedules to the fathers...realized that, in spite of how they treated them, recognized the importance of the father, etc.
That..is courage.
So JoJo, I am committed to stay a stabilizing and loving father in the lives of my children. I'm sure that they can see that I don't lose my temper against XW, nor call her names in front of them, etc. XW has a busy life schedule ahead of her and, I hope, as is the case with her son, finds me to be a cheaper babysitter.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Do you have right of first refusal when she does need a sitter? We have that written into the agreement if the kids need supervision for more than 3 hours.
Hey FIB, just stopping by to say hi and see how you are doing.
Those are great goals, my friend. Since I have seen you in person, I know for a fact that you would look wonderful in a kilt. Just sayin'. LOL!
Biking is wonderful. I love it. Look for a club or just go find a path. You'll be getting out there and meeting like-minded people - men and women.
As for the whys about your wife. You know better than to ask those questions, don't you? Those are questions that cannot be answered so they are just taking up your headspace.
I am one of those women who do whatever I can to maintain the relationship between my h and my son. I cannot imagine being any other way.
Just continue to be the wonderful dad you have always been. Take whatever extra time comes your way. Children see and understand things way more than we give them credit for sometimes. Be sure to continue not saying anything negative about your X to them. She is, not matter what, their mother.
I know how heartbroken you are about this. I know it is the children that bothers you most. I promise you, they will be ok. They will.
You have set an amazing example for them. They take it all in FIB. You have shown them how to act with dignity, with courage and strength and honor. Now you must show them how to navigate through difficult times in life and come out ok on the other side. If you are ok, then they will feel safe and secure.
I pray that your X finds her way to being the kind of mother your children deserve. I pray that she realizes that they are young for only a little while. I pray that she begins to do the right thing by them and by you, their father.
And most of all, I pray for you, my friend. That you may find peace and fulfillment and happiness. I pray that you come to realize that all things happen for a reason and that this journey was a necessary and important one.
So, get out those bagpipes and your bicycle. Get out into the world and find your peace, FIB. Find your happiness. It's out there, you'll see.
[/quote]So JoJo, I am committed to stay a stabilizing and loving father in the lives of my children. I'm sure that they can see that I don't lose my temper against XW, nor call her names in front of them, etc. XW has a busy life schedule ahead of her and, I hope, as is the case with her son, finds me to be a cheaper babysitter. [quote]
I hope it is the case for you FIB. Of course the perfect ending would be if you were able to co-parent together without conflict and that you were able to see your children with out XW "handing" them off to you all of the time.
I have to say that my son is an EXCELLENT father and does not talk bad of XW to the children or anyone else for that matter except his parents when he is frustrated. Unfortunately it is not the case with XW.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Hey, FIB!! I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. As always, I have been following along w/ your journey. I just didn't feel that I could add anything to what has already been said to you. I am so sorry that you have had to go through all that you have. But, I am hopeful that you are finally going to have some peace in your life.
I agree JoJo. And Brooklyn, you also know that I have the utmost respect for you, even tho' you never scheduled the donut toss. LOL.
XW is moving stuff to her new apt. Although she has been mostly 'fair', stupid little annoying things are being taken. I've called her on a couple of small things and she brought one back. Just stupid stuff and not worth mentioning here.
I went to son's Living Museum at school today. He was Patrick Henry. XW went there, tight jeans and all.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Apparently XW is graduating from college. She walked into the house last night with the kids at 10PM wearing her graduation gown.
LOL.
Think she was trying to tell me something???? Usually you take it off after the ceremony is over.
8AM this morning:
Quote:
Where's my check? How are you going to be paying me?
I now will be hounded. My buddy says that mailing the check by registered mail can alter certain behaviors.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Unfortunately it is not the case with XW.