SCH - Vent....it's healthy...we all have those days. Just keep in mind, that they will wake up one day and what they have done will hit them like a ton of bricks.
Someone on this board had said that LBS have it easier in a way, we can process all of what has happened over time, the WS on the other hand will have it crushing down on them all at once when they come out of their fog.
((((hugs))))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I am exactly where you are right now. Miss him. Hate him. Love Him. Wish things were better. Never want to see him again. Right back to miss him.
Most days I honestly feel bipolar.
Keep hanging in there. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, but we REALLY don't have a choice. Well, we do, but the alternative to doing what we're doing sucks.
You're not alone, here.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
Mila - no, he doesn't want to move back anymore, just wants me and the kids to feel sorry for his sitch, and to make more sacrifices so he can keep his new lifestyle going. How totally bizarre is this??!!
SCh, get used to it, bizarre in MLC land is the norm. My H is also big on me wanting to feel sorry for him and once even for ow. Yeah, like that's ever going to happen. Sorry Charlie, this is your choice, not mine.
The only thing I say really is that I miss him and our family all being and living together.
The above statement strikes me as one that will increase the guilt in a MLCer and make them run farther away each time you say it to them.
They feel guilty because they may not realize why they are running from everything they've started, they only know that something inside them tells them they have to. So by your saying that, it increases the guilt pressure.
In response to the feelings of guilt/shame they feel they will strike back so they don't have to face what they've done. That's what I think the below is all about.
Quote:
Then he tells everyone that I argue too much and am miserable
What do you think someone who is trying to save face and not admit they're screwing up their lives will say? They won't say that their wife is wonderful, happy and a joy to be around... Then they would have no excuse for their actions... and MLCer always have excuses IMO.
Right now you are spinning because you are trying to make sense of actions and words that no longer jive with the man you married. But that man is on hiatus and this other guy has taken his place. And this other guy will do anything not to look in the mirror.
The only thing you can control is *your* actions, words, thoughts and feelings.
Trying to figure out someone else's is like trying to catch water with a butterfly net - futile and unrealistic.
You don't know what is going on in his head these days.. probably a good thing from what I've read.
What's going on in your head? What do you want to be going on in your head? Your daily life? Where do you want your energy focussed? Because right now you're spending a lot of it trying to catch water with a net...
Last edited by DiamondGirl; 05/19/1002:13 PM. Reason: quote issues
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
