Please help - feeling so desperate - need advice

[Bridgestone]

Fudwoman,

Everyone has "those days" when it is all so overwhelming and anxiety producing and too much to bear. Coming here & venting is much more healthy than doing so on your kids & H. Kudos to you for doing so. Hugs to you for what seemed to have been a very trying time last night.

However,
To be honest, I saw your post last night shortly after you posted and I started to compose a response about 10 times & just couldn't because what I had to say was coming out 10 times harsher than what Lotus said it. But it's probably because it pulled some triggers for me & my sitch..

How she replied to you is referred to on here as a 2x4. It is lovingly administered, at some point, to everyone who posts here.

IT is done to help a DB'er, gain a different perspective and THINK about their sitch in a different light (if they chose to do that) to help their EMOTIONAL state change.


I truly hope you can continue to post and work through your feelings of resentment & frustration that your H is not responding to your changes as quickly as you would like and that he seems to keep playing the victim in your eyes.

I can tell you that when I read what you wrote in your initial post last night.. that was how I thought you were coming across.. "as a victim", and I'm sure that is not how you intended it, but it may bear examining from a perspective outside your own, as that is how your kids & H may possibly view it. Your choice to be interspective about it.

Now in respone to this today

Now if the response to that is attack if I ever dare complain or feel upset about my circumstances - it certainly doesn't make me think I'm in a very compassionate envt. on these boards.

You have had MANY kind, compassionate, supportive, and appropriate responses to you sitch, many people have chimed in with kudos, advice, support etc... and you have been appreciative of them...

however, part of changing and growing is being open and willing to hear the critiques of your actions as well as the positives of your actions. You strike me as a women is has the strength & inner fortitude to do that... perhaps last night, you did not.

I can tell you from my experience of posting on here for over 2 years.. Lotus is a thoughtful, kind soul that is a blessing to this board and I have no doubts what she said was said with compassion & care for your sitch. You may choose to not hear it that way.

I hope in your growth you can learn to hear both sides and not feel so hurt that you chose not post because someone is 'attacking' you when you complain about your circumstances.

Peace
Bridge