If You Forget Me #71

[awest1217]

K,

I want to remind you that I would love to be where you are at. I am in the midst of this separation and A. When I read your posts, I think there is still hope. My H has always said that he feels leaving was the worst mistake of his life and I believe him, but he still hasn't returned or stopped communicating to OW as far as I know. I understand the resentment. I understand the hurt feelings. I understand feeling scared to let him back in. He could hurt you again, and if you truly let him in and love him again, what if this is all pretend again? What if he leaves again? Where will that leave you? But this time you have the passwords so you can check on him, he is telling you what you have said on here you want to hear, he is telling you he won't give up, he is reassuring you the best that he can. He is going to your friends to find ways to help.

I understand not wanting to have this happen again (I know I am young, but this has been an ongoing problem our whole M). I understand wanting to just crawl up in your shell and stop trying, but you don't have to try anymore or at least for alittle bit. He sounds like he is finally strong enough to carry his weight. Let him. Lean on him. Cry in his arms. Yes he may feel bad, but let him hold you and show you he is there for you. Let him be there.

I would hate for you to regret a decision made right now. I understand being low and you have a lot of emotions to work through, all normal and healthy, but let him be a part of helping you instead of pushing him away.