Sorry did not have a lot of time to write last night and even less right now. Just had to get something out. I have to say Lotus your response struck me as very harsh. Perhaps you were trying to be helpful but it really hurt.
One of the things I've found most helpful on these boards is the brutal honesty and perspectives I get from the vets. It's not usually what I want to hear but often it's what I NEED to hear.
Originally Posted By: fudwoman
Just to be clear my anger and outbursts have certainly contributed heavily to my current circumstances BUT I can not and will not take all responsibility.
No one asked you to take ALL responsibility, just to step out of your own shoes and into your Hs long enough to get some perspective and cool down. Once I got it, I expected my H to get it right away too - it doesn't work that way, and our sitch has been brewing for so long that it's going to take time to sort everything out.
Originally Posted By: fudwoman
We can all present ourselves as victims on this board but I have chosen to be brutally honest because I think that's the only way to begin the process of real change. Now if the response to that is attack if I ever dare complain or feel upset about my circumstances - it certainly doesn't make me think I'm in a very compassionate envt. on these boards.
A
Remember that the people on this board have been where you are. Being defensive when someone challenges your way of thinking will hinder your process in the long run ... open up and think about the perspective Lotus was trying to get you to consider ...
You won't find compassionate, honest support like this anywhere else ((((hugs))))
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
