I myself hate the free will thing.....but.....God who created us who made heaven and earth is a JEALOUS GOD...he wants US to put him 1st....he allows bad things to happen because he wants us to DEPEND ON HIM FOR EVERYTHING.....he wants us to call on him with our every need.He is nothing like our earthly father, he is bigger and better.And I know you know this but OUR time is not his TIME. WE WANT EVERYTHING to do be done yesterday, we are inpatient, we want to put it into a microwave and zapp it to be hot ready in seconds not this way in God's time zone...It is unfair and so very long as the creator of us why would he give us everything instantly. We would never need him.Like I said a jealous GOD his right we wouldn't be here today if he had not created us....WE really can go on without our husbands and it really does get better takes a while but it happens I laugh again I have fun again even without my husband hence my new name...forgiveness and prayer is key...I am living proof.......