Lees I dont believe anyone here is giving guarantees that it will end but what we have to remember is we are a population of people with pretty much the same sitch but different degrees, so statically we will see the results skewed on who leaves/comes back/doesnt come back etc.
I have a friend who had an A, married the OW has a child.Are they happy..not totally.She is insecure he will leave her for someone else..he cheated on his wife(she was single). The reality is in comparison to R as a whole, these A's dont generally last and if they do go on to get married the foundations are weak. My H R with OW including time he was txt is now going on for 19 months.(10 months living with ow).
In terms of your wife being a vision of perfection:
My wife is a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, witty, caring, generous, fantastic person.
I wasnt criticising you..I would say the same about my H but in MLC..they are crazy cats, aliens...she is not the person you know right now and that generally points to something thats not right when you rememer her one way and she behaves in another. I think the ctc are her slowly strating to test the water, but agree that you should still keep expectations at zero. You work on yourself and if/when she comes back you are stronger and more importantly you are YOU and the person she married...its crazy how much we change when we are one of a couple..we lose our identity without realising it. Whatever happens your main goal should be to come out of this a stronger person..you will and you can do this....(((hugs)))
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
Crieff is lovely. All the consultants lived there when I was working in Perth. Boo hiss on missing the games when you were there. You'll have been pretty close to my place with driving up the coast to Aberdeen, unless you cut the corner to avoid Tayside of course! And the McGregor brothers....not sure which one is more attractive, the fast jet pilot or the actor!
FIL is fine - he just had ECG and blood test and is going back next monday for the electricity (mwa ha ha ha - we docs love using the electricity :D). I txt BIL to make sure and he sent me a lovely text back asking if I was well and keeping busy and all the details of the appt.
I haven't phoned her back - don't feel like it, and I'm out on another "date" tonight to the cinema and tomorrow night with the sMIL. I don't like to phone people at work with personal matters so it will have to wait till Thur. I can only imagine it's either an attempt to get under my skin or to tell me she's signed the separation papers and they're on their way. Or perhaps she's still pursuing friendship, which truthfully she totally said goodbye to IMO when she started sleeping with the person that organised my hen night.
If these tiny attempts to have some of my time continue, at what point do I start to open the door?
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
Maybe going to the counsellor that the OW recommended is a good idea. After all, she has insight into the psyche of that b1tch.
As far as I know the affair continues happily. I have nothing to either contradict or confirm this. Which is probably a good thing. Snooping was getting tiring anyway.
But whatever, today is good. Blue skies, decent clinic to attend for work, and then dinner and folk club with sMIL. Fabulous times.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
Lees we always assume all is happy and thats what they will be positioning to the rest of the world but its not always as it seems.Bet people used to look at you guys and think you were the perfect couple..you never know... I heard recently that a friend saw my H and the bike(we call her the exercise bike! I am sure you will work that one out!) 8 weeks post bomb in pizza hut..They said that for the full half hour they overlapped with them, they never had a conversation and he looked miserable..and thats when it all should be rosey..you just never know... Dont even gice the witch the time of day shes not worth the energy although I appreciate how hard it is to get away from the thoughts..
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
"Never should've got married" "It was awful living with her, it went wrong as soon as she moved in" (7 mo before wedding) "I haven't done anything wrong really it was just an honest mistake" "friend (witness at ceremony) said I shouldn't have from the beginning"
In response to sMIL asking why she spent so much time telling her I was the one..........
Silence.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
they are nutcases.My FIL said this morning cannot believe H would run past girls and not wave well he has...walked by daughter in the street too..hes so weak its frightening and thats the issue with them all...weak..OP have personalities that would scare Freddy Kruger..tell you they are scumbags..total scumbags. Has w been in touch again?
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
And just to heap on the crap I'm rotating hospitals with the damn OW, so continue to work with her. What did I do in a former life to deserve this? The only positive is that the sMIL lives close by and is excited that there'll be more cups of tea!
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
Wife hasn't. And quite frankly at this point I'd rather not have any further contact with her for the rest of my life.
She was fuming at sMIL regarding me asking for the money she owed. She wasn't paying me because of "the tone of my email" apparently. FIL, BIL and sMIL are all continuing to press me to move on because she doesn't deserve someone as honourable and decent as me.
I will sign the papers happily. And walk right on towards my own patch of paradise. She can keep her adulterous friends, and disgusting girlfriend, they are not compatible with my vision of the future. I require honesty, trust, fidelity and someone that actually gives a sh1t about me. She certainly doesn't demonstrate any of those.
And to the WAW:
The sun doesn't shine out of your ar5e like you think it does. I will not be crawling back like your previous ex's to further enlighten your life as "friends" and boost your misplaced ego, you are neither a good, moral nor attractive person. You're not worthy of my time. You've sh4t on me from a great height, and I will not be around for you to repeat that pleasure.
Last edited by lees; 05/20/1012:02 AM.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
Wow, lees, you are moving thru some powerful emotions. Moving through to the 'done' stage fairly quickly.
As I was saying to LFA, it always seems like the other person's sitch is so much better (relatively speaking) than your own. For example, your WAW has become such a total, awful, alien, that in my petty little heart I have to believe that it is (relatively) easier for you to detach, be done, etc.
Echoing pearl--and my own sitch--move on, build your life--and IF she asks to come back, well, assess it then.
But don't be waiting around.
I am feeling awfully jealous about Scotland and Highland Games and all. Men in kilts...sigh...
