I understand how painful this all is for you. As I read through your situation, I wanted to offer some perspective to you from someone on the outside looking in.
Your recent incident where you decided to take the mail and books over to your H is something to learn from. He told you not to come over and you found a way to do it anyway. You also said in your post that it would be a bonus if he talked to you. It may sound like I'm being hard on you, but you set yourself up emotionally for that and you just can't do that to YOURSELF.
I have the same faith perspective you do. You are saying that God is teaching you patience. Exercise a little more of it. Don't look for a reason to go over there and hope for the "bonus" of an interaction with him. It won't (and didn't) turn out well.
