This.. I want to hear. How does a manual tranny work? All the guys I have ever worked with have never used the word "tranny".
I jammed that tranny in 2nd.. and he never knew what hit him. So long sucker!
Yea.. it does not work! I am a little offended.
"Yep, you got lost in the marriage. Be yourself again. The key to not getting lost again is healthy boundaries and the tools to enforce them."
Tools.. I know.
I know how they work.. and when they are broke.
When you use a tool everyday.. it becomes important that they last. They help you work. They help you "get things done". If you have the right tool.. for the right job.. it is so much easier.
Thing about "tools".. we walk thru life with what "someone" gave us. No one ever explains the value of a "tool". We have to figure it out. Problem is.. the "tools" we had.. were used.
So.. how can a used and "broken" tool.. hold up and makes us work better?
We look at the broken tool.
Is there an upgrade?
Or.. does this tool still work?
That is the question!
"the problem with me is that when i start thinking about the past, i end up going in circles wondering why i can't get out of this mess or why i can't move forward."
You don't wanna spend the time or the money. Those "tools" feel good. Look how far they got you. You can muddle thru. You have experience with your tools.
Wait.. "someone" just showed up in the bay next to you. They have a "tranny" tool too. Oh snap.. "someones" tools are newer than yours.
What now?
Did I mention that I want you to test your "statement's"?
If not.. I am sorry. It was not intentional.
So...
"1. hey .. i see you got a hair cut. looks good. how are your folks doing?"
This.. is pretty good. I think it would be most effective if you try it out in front of a barber shop. Try it both ways.
How you wrote it.
And.. Like this..
(random guy exits barber shop. You throw on a big smile. He for some reason thinks he knows you)
Hey you.. nice haircut! Looks good!
How how are your folks doing?
----------------------------------
That could work.
Now we can continue down this sarcastic path of mine.. but I suspect that will not be productive.
It stops here.
Let me be clear.. the way you are approaching "this" is just not going to work.
I wanna see you focused.. I want to see you with your mind in the game.
I need for you to give me some real thoughts on how to talk to your H. I don't care what his LL is. This is a statement of what you want. I don't want him to react. I want him to stand there not knowing what to say. Jaw on the ground.. questioning everything he ever thought about you.
I saw the post on you live in the same building.
And all the other stuff.
For now.. put your energy into making a statement.
Talk at me if you need to.
Again.. I am not good at what Coach/Laura are good at.
I will assure you that neither of them will be offended if you talk at me. This is a group effort. I know Coach.. and have read most everything he has posted. Don't know Laura much.. but she seems to catch on fast.
At the very least.. I am outnumbered.. I am the "crazy guy" and they are the "normal" ones.
Again.. I will assure you they will keep me "in line".
Our goal is the same.. we just talk.. in many different ways.
So.. how bout that tranny explanation?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
