The countdown continues

[flowmom]

Yuck on the money issues Awoken. It will be a huge relief once everything is sorted out.

(((hugs)))

[Gardener]

There was a chapter in "rational recovery" about the spouses of addicts that was really meaningful to me. One thing that comes to mind right now is that even though I'm still worried about W, it's really a relief to not feel responsibility for her anymore. I have no idea if she is drinking, or how much. I don't know what her mood is, whether she is manic or depressed, and I don't have to accommodate those things anymore. At first I didn't even recognize exactly what that big hole I was feeling/missing was. It will likely be good for her too, to rely only on herself for a while.

This shows real growth. I'm with ya on all counts!

[Gardener]

Awoken,

I don't know why I care, but W sent more emails complaining about money. She is complaining about how small her apartment it is, and how it is all she could afford. She has even told the kids that she had to get the apartment because of the cost. It's a two bedroom, so my S14! is sleeping in the living room.

Ignore and delete those emails, buddy.

And maybe consider going out and buying her the absolutely biggest, "bloomer-ish" "big girl panties" you can find and giving them to her!

Decisions.
Choices.
Consequences.

[Sister]

And maybe consider going out and buying her the absolutely biggest, "bloomer-ish" "big girl panties" you can find and giving them to her! wink

ROFL!!!! What an image.

[Awoken]

So here I am:

I'm waiting for my lawyer to complete the "final" agreement presuming that my wife would sign it. We have a tentative date for mediation scheduled for June 11th, as required by our county. I would prefer to avoid that.

My lock on the refi of the house expires this week, although I can hopefully extend it another two weeks. I'm just not gonna worry about it anymore.

Wife sent another email complaining about the cost of the divorce, because she had to file the initial complaint.

(picture Awoken slapping his forehead, and waving Gardener's suggest big bloomers) I just don't understand where she is coming from!

[Awoken]

I was just re-reading my recent postings her in my thread and this jumped out at me...

Liar's don't trust.

I can't believe I so bluntly called my wife a liar. Seven months ago, I never would've done that. Things have really changed in my mind. I've grown some real contempt for her, and I'm wondering how healthy that is.

Yes, she is a liar (said it again). She is unhappy and in pain. I can't excuse what she is doing, what she has done to our family. Do I need to maintain my compassion for her, to better co-parent?

In another thread, two posters commented that they were both over-analyzers. I suspect that's me too.

[Gardener]

Awoken,

Liar's don't trust.

I can't believe I so bluntly called my wife a liar. Seven months ago, I never would've done that. Things have really changed in my mind.

More growth.

I've grown some real contempt for her, and I'm wondering how healthy that is.

Normal. Least I hope it is because I spent a chunk of time there. It passed.

Yes, she is a liar (said it again). She is unhappy and in pain. I can't excuse what she is doing, what she has done to our family.

I understand. Everything in that sentence is true in my sitch.

Do I need to maintain my compassion for her, to better co-parent?

I'd say yes, Awoken, even though mine doesn't involve co-parenting at all.
For your children's sake.
And compassion doesn't equal it's-alright-honey-I-understand.
Only you can answer that question, though.

In another thread, two posters commented that they were both over-analyzers. I suspect that's me too.

Hell, aren't we all?

[flowmom]

Awoken, I'm trying to find my way towards figuring out a coparenting R by reading this book, highly recommended by my L:

http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Your-Kids-Divorce-Sandcastles/dp/0679778012/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

So far it seems helpful.

(((hugs)))

[Awoken]

Thanks flowmom; I just ordered it on amazon!

[Awoken]

To my great surprise, I'm sitting hear at after 1am in the morning feeling completely heartbroken. I don't know where this came from. I guess it's part of the normal roller coaster, but I feel so sad!

I hope that I'll just fall asleep soon, and that all will be better in the morning.

I'm so thankful for all the support I get here! I logged here, and read through my thread for all the encouragement I've received over the past seven months. I don't know how I would have survived otherwise.