Cause for alarm?

[OfficerInNeed]

The last thing I want to do is give her more motive to move out. Telling her that she will never be happy in this marriage is certainly something I do not want to ever say. I know i am beating myself up when I say this, but you have to understand the things I have said in the past, and the above quoted is very similar to things I would say...

I have not been able to try a particular approach long enough to see if it is working. Each time I start a new dynamic comes about. Whether it be OM in the picture, then out the picture and her going through a minor withdrawal process, to OM being in picture again and she being more attached than she had in the past.

This approach I am taking now as allen suggested, validating her feeling while creating doubt when she tells me she is leaving has seemed to make an impact. Since I said "running away is not the answer" look at what we did after...the time spent.

I think things might get worse though. She just now found out the messages she had saved that I deleted are gone. I seen that she was on google trying to figure out how to restore those messages and how they got deleted in the first place.