Maybe I didn't blow it?

[konfuseeed]

Also, I wanted to point out that I am not just going to say that to her to try to get a rise out of her or anything... That is honestly how I feel.

Seeing as that is the case, I am thinking that it does not even need to be said, and I should just act as if I said it.

If that makes sense.

[v1olin]

If that is how you feel then don't send an email for your anniversary. If she says, "hey why did'nt you remember our anniversary?" THEN you tell her your thoughts about the relationship. Do it calmly and confidently. Be prepared for some verbal abuse from her. Don't get pulled into a fight with her.

[konfuseeed]

I hear ya.

The thing is her and I haven't actually talked about anything since this happened.

"This" being the camping trip that went so well.

I am hell bent on NOT bringing up any R talk, but at the same time I can sense a shift in her dealings with me.

While I do feel that way now, yes, I might be basing those feelings on past experiences with her during our separation, and I want to know if our camping trip, and how she acted towards me was real or not before I tell her that stuff. Because if she is sincere, and she is starting to feel different, then I would be willing to try a little more and be a little more patient... A little.

Does that make any sense?

It's like I'm still open to her and I giving this a shot, but I feel like I'm about down to my last round here. If after camping went so well, and this dinner we have on Sunday night goes well (if it does) then I think a talk is in order, because I want something more out of a relationship than this.

If she is not willing to give more, then thats fine and thats her choice, but I have to move on then and look to the future with someone who IS willing to give more.


But I KNOW starting a R talk is probably not a good idea.


I'm just rambling now and probably not making any sense and talking in circles... I know this!

I guess its like this... She doesn't even know this, but she is down to her last chance to reconsider trying to repair the marriage before I completely give up. I'm to the point now where I know I'll be fine, I don't need anyone and I am well on my way to being completely happy with myself. I know I will meet someone else and all that jazz.


I wanna say to her, one more time... "Are you sure about this?"


But I probably shouldn't bother, huh?

[konfuseeed]

And for the record I know that last post was all over the place... It's almost like my brain barfed out everything I had been thinking today in that post.

I'm still back and forth about the anniversary email. I'm trying to hear Puppy saying what is the RIGHT thing to do, and I have to say, the right thing to do would be to wish my wife a happy anniversary. A simple, acknowledgment of the day, and thats it.

[konfuseeed]

Ok, and I just red a post from Sandi that made me rethink the entire anniversary email.


Oye...

[konfuseeed]

One last thing and then I'm done ranting...


The way I'm looking at this, right now, is that I am assuming my wife is testing me. She is trying to see if I am going to fall apart and ask her to get back together like I would in the past, and I'm just not doing that again.

[konfuseeed]

Happy anniversary to me. More down and depressed today than I have been in months.

I've decided to not say anything to her about it.

[eeyore_no_more]

I understand where you're coming from. I keep pulling back and detaching more, but haven't been able to completely drop the rope. I feel like we're drifting farther away from shore, and I want to give her one last chance before we lose sight of the land.

There have been a thousand chances to turn around since this started, but she is determined to keep going no matter what.

Happy Anniversary, K. Make a point to do something nice for yourself today.

[v1olin]

Stay strong Konfuseeed. I know it is tough but you will be fine.

[konfuseeed]

So... This is kinda weird, and I would like some advice if anyone doesn't mind.

As I mentioned before, she is coming over for dinner and to watch the LOST finale at my place Sunday.

As you also know, today is our anniversary.

She just emailed me... But to ask what time LOST starts on Sunday, with no mention whatsoever of what today is.

What the hell... Really?


First off... She said she looked online, but couldn't find what time the show starts (riiiight)

Second of all, it's only Wednesday. She has 4 more days till Sunday and she could have very easily just asked me tomorrow, when it is NOT our anniversary.


How should I reply?


I'm thinking about just waiting a few hours and then replying about the show, and not mentioning what today is at all.

I can't help but think this email was her messing with me. Could she be trying to get me to say something about the day by emailing me like this?


That was just such a weird email to get... Seriously.