Let your L work for you now. It is futile for you to try and negotiate with your wife the way she is now (illogical and selfish). You are doing the right thing by spending the big bucks so as to get equal parenting time. It is what is best for the kids most of the time.
I went through a similar thing and ended up getting a superb lawyer who filed with me as the petitioner in the D. I believe that being on the offensive gave me better negotiating power even though she was very angry. I was then able to have her agree to a 50/50 shared parenting plan that we signed off on pretty quick. And, by my taking a stronger stance to protect myself and the kids best interest (equal time with both parents), it caused her to rethink some about our marriage. She noticed a change in me - I was not a pushover whimp. She was then on the fence for many months before I realized that I would not want her back and I finally had my L complete the financial negotiations with her L and the D was finalized.
