coach. thank you for introducing me to the stockdale paradox.
while i sit here, being swallowed by my paranoia and anxiety. i found jim collins site.
i listened to the audio clip "the moment you begin to think of yourself as great, you've lost it."
and i think i am starting to understand.
when you asked me what my strengths and why my h fell in love with me. this is how i really wanted to answer you:
i am smart, people are drawn to me because i am caring and considerate by nature. i am a guy's girl who loves sports (watching & playing), can kick your butt at trivia, and understands how a manual tranny works. i have a good sense of style (high maintenance?). people confide in me a lot because i am trustworthy. for some reason, my opinion matters to them. i am a friend to the end and you want me on your side.
i've always had a lot of male friends. despite being a guy's girl, i never thought anybody liked me as more than a friend. h pointed out to me that guys on the street would give me the once-over or do a double take when i walked by. i never noticed. i never thought i was that great.
on the flipside, when i start talking about h, i change my tone. i talk like i'm the best thing he ever had and that he's stupid to want me out of his life.
what's the point i'm trying to get at?
when you begin to think of yourself as 'great', you've lost it.
that's the diff between the two scenarios. i never thought i was great when i was around my male friends. i was just one of the guys.
when i talk about my h, i thought of myself as 'great'. so i've lost it.
my goals .. i want to be in constant pursuit of greatness. i have faith that i will be okay in the end. face the brutal facts of reality now.
i don't have my h. i am living alone and i am doing just fine. i will be free from the shackles of this anger. maybe not now. but i have faith i can overcome this. i will own my own home one day - complete with a six burner gas stove. i will do it one step at a time. because once you've begin to think of yourself as 'great'. you've lost it.
