I must say that I am not surprised by the dynamics. One person pulls away and it causes the other to want them more. But I think it may be a bit different with your H in that he is truely concerned for your sake and not his own desire to have you.
It seems that he has learned from his mistakes and is really wanting to keep his changes. How about the changes you did when he wanted out - are you continually trying to better yourself or do you just want to quit?
You are going through some troubled times in your mind. These will not last. Stick it out. Go on the trip. There will be enough to keep your mind occupied with just the kids on the trip. I agree with Michelle - make new memories.
