Question

[awest1217]

Today is much better. It is definitely a bi-monthly thing, maybe one ovary gives off more hormones than the other? Plus with the Chicago thing...just emotional stuff. I know this is all up to me. I had my annual goal meeting with my assistant principal who has known everything since the beginning, and I said how right now I just want to leave things the way they are. I am thriving, S is thriving, H is thriving at work although personally doing worse and healthwise doing worse. I see no reason to mix things up because I should move on. I have moved on. H's stuff is packed, I am removing his pics slowly in the house as I get new ones to replace them. I make my plans and sometimes invite H along, sometimes I just do my thing. I am relandscaping the house. I am planning with my SIL a mother's outing to the park every Tuesday this summer. Plus having my nephew THursday and Friday each week. I am also going to sit down and plan a daily schedule for S and I so we don't just stay inside and watch TV all day.

I may not GAL by going out and "partying", but I have GALed in my way. I have my own life that I like and have detached enough that I can go either way. I want to reconcile, but if he chooses D or if he moves into an apartment to make me say D I am going to be sad, but I will be ok.

As the A.Principal said, he is still confused and still working through a lot so I am just going to let things be. I don't want to change S's or my life again when we finally have a good normal. A lot can happen over the summer to make me go towards either direction more, but for right now; I love the life I have created.

Health wise, I am doing better except in the mornings, but I still think it is hormone related. I do have a headache, but the weather is causing that. I am sleeping much more soundly with S in his own room so I think given a few weeks of sound sleep...I will be full power by summer break for fun, fun, fun!