It's ok, you can TELL him you don't want to ahve anything to do with him, but that YOU kept YOUR mariage commitment and will NOT act to support divorce.... that is HIS mistake and he will have to OWN the DIVORCE for the REST of his LIFE... It's HIS DIVORCE
He wants to turn ownership of the divorce to YOU... so its YOUR fault later on.. he wont' have to take the blame if the kids ask why later on..
I KNOW you are wishy washy, this is why for months I have been reccomending :
a. Detcach or... b. Find an itnermediary to talk on your behalf if you CANT detach...
I am advocating as usual, B, because you make it pretty clear he walks all over you and ouc an't find the strength to fight him... I've been tehre .. so I say let someone else tell him to go to he11...
Have THEM tell him the divorce is ALL his and you will NOT AGREE to him filing. It's HIS MESS and if HE wants to run away from his maritcal obligations instead of rebuilding them
a. He has to own that cowardly act, you refuse b. He has to own that when the kids ask why you two stopped being a family.. YOu didn't want that... HE did.. and him alone
Again, do NOT negotiate with him, ask someone ELSE to do it..
Hell, if you can't find anyone, give me his # and I will do it.