I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

it's hard to be strong.

This was my best friend. Over the past year she was by my side. When I was sad she cheered me up. She was always so goofy. We had such love and an understanding of the other.

We would laugh and joke through every bad situation.

Now she's gone.

This morning I had a really long cry. I mean I cried like I was 2 years old.

It's just getting to me. the M the disabilities, the kids. Everything.

I am so broken. I'm so saddened. I'm so hurt. Yes I know the exposal really hurt her. But when I saw those sites and all that crap I just wanted to scream I wanted everyone to know what she had done to me.

How it hurt me. How I'm infected. How she shouldn't be lying to anyone else.

I'm so distraught today. I havne't been posting much because I know you guys are tired of hearing me say this stuff.

But it's hard to even get out of bed anymore. I feel drained and zapped of whatever energy I did have.

I get up and go to the garage and smoke. Talk to serenity (she is such an angel) and then sleep or cry some more.

I don't let my family see me cry though.

it's going on 2 weeks without us talking. I've sent a few texts and left a voicemail but have heard nothing.

I think the mutual friend tricked me again. She seems to justify everything WAW does stating she did all of the same things.

*sighs*

Time to go smoke and cry some more. I don't know when I became such a big baby