ACK! I stopped reading your thread for a week or two and now this! I'm so sorry for the sh!tty weekend of Mom's day and so proud of how you're handling yourself since. I know your attitude is an inspiration to a lot of people here. I'm mostly in the alt now, but I guess I'll try to check in a little more often so I don't miss so much!
((((Mind))))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
OK, how did this get so out of control in such a short time? LOL
BBJ - LOVE the cheer!! You're right... I forgot we "matched" w/the high school cheer / college dance team.
And, Chelsea's book. LoL LoL NUMBER EIGHT thinks I need to read her two other books. I'm getting them shortly. Will give an update!
Seriously, love the support, girlfriend!!
ROB - You're right, the current discomfort WILL BECOME the new confidence! I would just like permission to whine for a minute, as I stare at 110 emails from just yesterday, and from just... MY BOSS! GOD! Sh*T! All I did was go out to lunch! (BEAM)
Alice - It's hel1 to keep up with here! Thanks for coming in and supporting! I read your updates in the alt all the time!!! Love the quote, btw...
UPDATE: Will update conversation w/H soon. Wicked busy. Also, wanted to say it outloud to someone else first...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
So, the conversation w/H on Monday was good and bad...
Conversation Talking Points?
-- Thankfully, he's not abandoning the kids.
-- He was just "frustrated" when he blew his top, and dropped the bomb on my kids and family. (I voiced my "frustration" with his ability to be such a jackas$. Trust me.)
-- He is putting my needs first... (What are they, H?) My need for FREEDOM! (Hey, last time I checked, I've been trying to hold this together for 2 1/2 years! And, if I wanted FREEDOM, 2 1/2 years ago when you abandoned our M (emotionally and sexually), I would have done something about it then.
-- He wants the kids to be able to stay in our home. (NOT happening. It's WAY TOO MUCH for me to handle, no matter how much money he throws at me (That he doesn't have!).
-- He wants to be able to have both of us supporting their activities, and him be around on the weekends, but leave at night (so they don't have to go between homes). Gee, H, that sounds grand. THOUGHT WE WERE DIVORCING! So, I think, NOT! I am willing to work with him, schedule-wise, because one person cannot do their activities alone and, no matter what JACKLOAD he is to me, pre-blow-up, he was a good Dad. But, NO you will not have access to my home and them, whenever convenient. I will stay in our home through the summer, because a) IT ROCKS in the summer, and b) I'm just plain not going through showings w/the kids home all summer.
-- He doesn't have time to go see D attorney's. (OK, then why fire everyone up, take the innocence from my boys and family, etc... and go wielding insults and threats? F*n stupid) So, I told him he has a very short time to get that done, otherwise, I will force him to. (My L wants him to file first to save me money on L fees. BUT, I'm not waiting on it... LONG)
-- He thinks his "friend" (and I use that term loosely) and his W have a great set-up. The W and kids are in the house. H has an apartment 3 miles away. He comes and goes as he pleases, when it suits him. GEE, SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! NOT
I can tell you all. He just plain doesn't know what to do with me, NOT CARING, NOT RESPONDING, NOT ALERTING (to his idiotic actions). Last night, I got home from soccer w/the boys, and H is here, w/a guy doing something w/a boat lift. He starts ranting and raving about no one here to help, no one wanting to help, no one appreciating his contribution, etc... I tell him (in so many words) that he didn't bother to let anyone know he'd be here, and I'm done jumping through hoops to accommodate his moods/activities/lifestyle. Handle it on your own. (Boat lift guy in presence) Boat Lift guy says to H (after I finish), "She IS a piece of work, H." I look at Boat Lift guy... "YES I AM, SIR. YES, I AM!"
I go in the house, get the kids dinner, make sure their homework is getting started... And, leave to go for a walk/run. Upon return, an hour later, he's gone. Good F*'n Riddance.
I may sound bitter, but I'm really not. I'm glad to be done w/him. I'm not emotional anymore, and that feels amazing. I'm focusing on making sure the kids are okay, and I'm moving forward w/my plan (even though it keeps getting adjusted.)
Thanks, everyone!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I particularly like the part where his solution to not having the kids go between two homes sounds suspiciously like the current setup he has now; He's there when he wants to be and gone at night. Nice gig, if you can get it.
