Update on my story, sorry this is going to be long.
5/14: We went to dinner with the kids which was nice. H even thanked me for a nice time
5/16: While I was picking up the kids from H apartment, he tells me that his "friend" OW and her 3 kids came over for dinner on Saturday night. I stayed calm and left. But then my daughter informed me that dads "friend" is going boating with him and kids Memorial weekend and a concert with them in July. I called H and told him I was not going to do this anymore and it was time to file the divorce papers.
5/17: H texts: I'm so sorry
I texted: I'm sorry too. Just let me know when the papers are filed
H texts: K I wish I could have been a better husband
H texts: I have spent most of my life loving u. And now I'm lost. I made some mistakes and I am so sorry I hurt u. It's not what I wanted to do. I know you will find a better man.
I emailed him: You were NOT a horrible husband. Up until September, I thought our marriage was ok, and really appreciated the way you treated me. Until then, I had no idea that I was not being the wife that you needed. I never meant to make you feel unloved and rejected. I know the hurt and pain that I caused you the last 4 years is your reason for ending the marriage. My hurt and pain has been from the last 6 months, and mostly has to do with your friendship with Tamryn. In fact that is the reason I asked you to move out on December 3rd, was because of her. I am not blaming her for our martial problems, nor do I think your or her purposely set out to hurt me. But the fact remains that the friendship is hurting me. I realized last night, that she is a very important friend to you and that is not something I can control or even have the right to ask you to give up. With that said, I'm so sorry but I can no longer do this anymore. Up until last night, I had always held onto the hope that someday we would find our way back to each other. I will always care for you and you will always hold a special place in my heart. I do wish you the best, and I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for.
H texts: I am sorry all that came from not trusting me. H texts: That's really sad H texts: With the way u watched me and then instantly accused me of cheating I have believed this whole time u cheated on me
I emailed him: I'm sorry I didn't trust you when this all started. You had never given me a reason to not trust you. I never have cheated on you and I'm sorry for every making you question that. I let my own insecurities take over and started suspecting you of cheating. I think subconsciously I knew that something was wrong with our marriage and that you weren't happy. But I couldn't see the reason why, so I started suspecting another women. When I seen how much you were talking to her, I blew it way out of proportion. In doing that, it made you 2 closer and caused you guys to become such close friends. That is when I became obsessed. You are a good man, and never deserved to be treated that way and for that I'm sorry. However, I can't change the way I feel about the friendship. It hurts me to think of you 2 spending any time together even as friends. As I said before, that is out of my control and you have a right to be friends with who ever you want. I'm not asking you for anything, and I'm not blaming you either. I'm just being honest with why I'm hurting. I don't want to hurt you anymore and I don't want to be hurt either. I never wanted us to end. That is why I finally agree with you that we need to just end it and be the best parents we can be to our kids.
I didn't want to be done, but I don't know what else to do. I can't take the pain anymore and knowing that he is spending on that time with her. He tells me she and one other friend are the only friends he has left. He has known her for 6 months from FB.
NEED ADVICE ASAP:
Just got a text from H: So ur sure u want to file?
How should I respond?
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10