Ken, its wonderful to meet you.. for months I've been following your sutation and NOW I think I finally SEE you... It's great to hear from the real you ... Keep up the great work. I think you can see the stress YOU are giving the OM when you pressure your wife now right?
When you pressure your wife to separate or reconcile SHE calls OM and HE has to deal with it.. and if he is with his wife then he has to deal with women on both ends of his ear nagging at him... KEEP DOING THAT...
Notes of things to be careful of :
Be wary of agreeding to go to any anger management class or control freak course or anything.. you should NOT be admitting any wrongdoing for current actions. Acknowldege mistakes you made BEFORE the infidelity started and own those.
But once your wife starts cheating you do what you have to do to save your marriage and protect your home, she has NO GROUND to walk on there and complain...
Don't take her crap for anything you are doing right now.
I am worried about this statement you used :
Quote:
Reconcile or go live with someone who is not controlling and manipulative, is not critical of you, and will not cheat on you." I said those things because she knows that is a perfect description of the OM and she thinks he has been critical of her.
I am a bit confused there, but try not to tell her to GO to OM... You want her to
a. Work on the marriage b. Separate herslf from her marriage and family
Those are her choices.. OM is not part of the advice...
The problem is right now she wants to remain part of the family and the marriage, but act in a way that does DAMAGE while being part of it.
Much like a problem child, as long as she causes problems for the family stead of supporting her family she needs to exit from that family until she demonstrates she can be part of the family again...
Keep that in mind, don't push her at OM, focus on that she's doing damage to her kids and her marriage, YOU are protecting the marriage, OM is attacking the marriage.
I don't know what to think of OM right now.. Keep collecting all the info he's sending you... he's practically admitting to infidelity at this point...
I suspect he can see your wife's quite the drama queen right now and he doens't want to deal with her...
