I think that's what got me here (meaning from when he told me he wanted to work on things, to the present) .. I HAD expectations. I expected him to treat me a certain way or to do certain things, rather than just letting him be. I think that's what got to him and what made him feel trapped and unhappy.
Okay, take care here now... don't start blaming yourself for having expectations of your M or H. Now, I'm not sure exactly the types of things you're speaking of here, but don't forget that it's ok to need things of your spouse. That's why people get married in the first place. It's your central support system in life.
Originally Posted By: timehealsall
The way he was doing things, in his mind, he WAS trying... (trading my car in for a new one, getting bills on track, coming back home)whereas, I was looking for him to do the small stuff.
And it's ok to want him to do the small stuff. My IC says it's the small stuff that keeps marriages together.
Originally Posted By: timehealsall
I shouldn't have been so stupid. I should have just gone about my business. I guess I'm just so damn insecure and on the defense that I read into what he was doing and too busy trying to figure it out.
You're so NOT stupid!!! Tell me this - do you truly feel, deep in your heart that your H held himself accountable for the A, and was actively working on correcting his behaviours that had caused troubles in the M? (ie a couple things I think you mentioned were his tendency to be sarcastic, and to blame you for everything). Because let me tell you, if he was not addressing those things, how could you not feel a little insecure still?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
