Yes, it is confusing. Some here even advocate agreeing with the WAS that D is necessary, while some advocate reaffirming your committment to save the M.
I would agree that if it known the WAS is cheating, any persuing behavior just tells here she can come back whenever and if she gets done with the A.
I do not believe my W was in an A when she left. As time goes on, who knows? Especially if she thinks the M is over.
Yes, I think she took a stand because she wasn't seeing things getting better, although she was very resigned towards the end when I was sort of trying to be more attentive. I think my acknowledgement affirmed her decision. After that, everything I said or did to stop the separation, did no good.
My work situation changed before the split. It is much less stressful and demanding now. Her work situation has not changed and is IMO a big source of us growing apart. However, I think we could have managed it better. However her work will have to eventually change anyway and I believe she knows that.
I have also changed religiously and turned back toward the Lord. I am working on eliminating distractions in my mind that I thought were harmless but made me less intimate with the W. You have to realize that fantasies are not reality, and even if some were to come true, any pleasure derived would be fleeting.
I believe I can a be much better husband now and be much happier with my wife without all the thoughts of "what if?"
