It sounds like she is cunning behind you, and she wants to rip you apart. Your going to have to do the same, maybe when the dust clears and some years later she will apologize to you if she ever comes to her senses.
For now this is someone else, and she has "code" put into her through her close and deep interaction with OM.
Your in the same place I am and many others here are. I hate that it is this way, the same as you.
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
I felt very sick to hear what happened. I can never figure out how someone who was in love could deliver D papers without telling the other partner about it in advance. Why the shock value? Seems too mean and heartless.
Be calm LSG. She's been rough to you, but don't show your kids that you're not going to be out of control.
onthemountaintop, the ladies get like this due to lying, gaslighting and decieving their spouse. Also many times their social group supports the shinannigans, and perhaps the OM is having his 2 cents in there too. So over time, it is a different person - not necessarily the wife you married. We have to treat it as such, if what was our wife decides its our enemy, we have to like you said, be under control - but deal with it like someone who you cannot trust and you know is going to get over on you in every way possible. You divorce, go for as much as you can, so hopefully it falls in the middle ground of parity and fairness and you move on.
Many of us obviously have no other choice. Until I been on DB forums, I did not think this all the way through and understand what was once my wife, may be the same physical person, but perhaps their mind has changed. Sometimes if it changes enough there is nothing we can do about it. It may just not be our wife anymore.
