I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[TimeHeals]

I guess you stop fighting it and accept it.

That doesn't mean you push it (and him) along. It just means that you have to start thinking about what small things you will have to do if it does happen and begin preparing yourself for that new life.

My STBXW I have only been seperated 3 days, and that part of detaching is much clearer to me now. I know it seems impossible while you still see each other and each others' families, but looking back, I can say the only thing stopping me from thinking the way I do now back before the seperation was me.

You obviously had some R talk, and I am guessing you had your own opinions about the R, and that only hardened his resolve. I am also guessing that you asked him to think about the kids in this talk you had, but if your H had your kids at the top of his priority list right now, then you wouldn't be having that kind of talk in the first place.

Please correct me if I am reading between the lines too much.

As for you staying in the house, I suppose you can do that until you cannot afford to do it anymore. You might explore living arrangement options nearby so you kids can stay in the same schools (I need to re-read your thread to get more info on your current living arrangments and financial situation).

As for trust, that isn't going to return while you two are stuck covering the same ground.

For example, my W. has moved out, and trust isn't an issue anymore. Now, if she were to appear and say she wanted to move back in, then trust would be more of an issue. I doubt that is going to happen, so it simply isn't an issue at all.

As for your guilt about the children. What is important is that you be a good mother no matter what happens. Life can be challenging sometimes, and you are an example of how to face life's challenges to your children, so how you deal with things is what is most important. Resolve to do the right thing no matter what and to be a good person.

The best time to start being a better person is always right now.