That is where I am now, acting as if D. She has gotten a life and is moving on and I am now moving on as well. I was hopefull for a while but as of recent, have been finding out thru D's school C, W's parents have been fine with the OM. They know him from HS as well. When she goes to P's house, w/ my kids they all have dinner there. He is sliding right into where I was. He will more than likely be going to Maine w them in July as well. Our yearly vaca spot. Its the only place her parents have ever taken W and only place they have been as well.
I was hoping by then we would be back together but I feel by then we will be done. And I am alright with that, now. Like they say, you can't make them love you and you can't make them stay. I just want to protect my kids from bouncing from this guy to that guy to the next. I still can't get over how completely opposite W is right now...Not the woman I married by a long shot! Only looking out for her own happiness and thwe hell with the results!!!
Got a golf tourny and a fun filled weekend planned w friends and a date w a wonderfull girl... Best to all and thanks for the help....
Had a great weekend!! Golfing w friends I haven't seen for a while, cooking Fillets, shrimp, lobster and of course plenty of drinks. I didn't mention my sitch and it felt very wierd. But until everything gets resolved its better if only a few people know I would say.
After getting done with buddies, went to a 'friend's' house to hang out. She and I had a really fun time and it was a well needed break from reality. We went to a quaint-nice restaurant and caught up w each other, haven't seen her for about 15 yrs. While talking w her I was still thinking about W but still had a great time.
Talked to W this am and she is back to being talkative and nice on the phone. Albeit just about kid stuff, she is at least not being snippy and angry w me. The last convo w her was about why D didn't want to talk to her. She was sure that I told D something about W and from there she was full blown angry. I don't speak bad of W w/ anyone, and would never put the kids in the middle of us. She is a great mother, she just became depressed and slipped into MLC and is now happy being off on her own with all the freedom she needs.
Well, everything is still the same. We talk to the kids on the phone in am/pm and that is it. She doesn't ask about me and I don't ask about her. It really is too bad...We had such a wonderful thing going. But MLC/depression is a crazy thing.
As of now, I am looking towards the future w/out her in it. It is tough, really tough some days. You see people walking down the road or sitting in a restaraunt talking and laughing and thats how we were just b4 D-day...Never saw it coming...but looking back now, she was gearing up for it w/out a doubt. I still wake up daily at 3:45 am just thinking about her and the world...
Its like she is in High School, getting rid of a boyfriend b/c she changed her mind, she got a tattoo this past weekend and is just out loving her freedom. Freedom she always had w me. I was the one asking her when she was going to go out w her friends or just take time for herself...wierd isn't it?! Now she yearns for her weeks off from the kids...
The kids are doing okay, they miss the other parent when the other has them. But we stay busy...this past weekend we were at our camp, had a b-day party for nephew, catching frogs, salamanders, building forts, 4wheeling and just having a great time. Then got home and set up the pool, I don't know how kids can stay in the water staight out of the hose!! We are going to put in the garden sometime this week I hope!!!
I geuss the question is how long do you stay dark? It will be 5 months separated in a few weeks...
You will probably have to stay dark through most of her MLC. If she starts pursuing you, don't cave at the temptation, but don't be cold hearted, either. "If" she should pursue in the future, then we can talk about it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Freedom she always had w me. I was the one asking her when she was going to go out w her friends or just take time for herself...wierd isn't it?!
Hopeful, I read your sitch and I can relate to this comment. It is weird. I also encouraged my W to go out with her friends and do things for herself. Sometimes she would and sometimes she wouldn't. She was upset with me for not going out with my friends. Then she tells me that I smother her. Yes, weird. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Originally Posted By: HopefullVT
I geuss the question is how long do you stay dark? It will be 5 months separated in a few weeks...
Not sure what the answer is...I wish I knew. My W has been mostly dark with me since she left 7 months ago. She still hasn't talked to me about M yet.
Anyway, just wanted to offer you support. The people here are great and offer great advice.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
Here's a quick question. What do you do when you've asked WAW not to bring kids around OM, and yet she does?
This past weekend, W and kids went to MIL house, where W dropped them off and went to a Memorial Day over night party. Then Sun came back up here w OM to another get-together, had him stay over at her apt and then on Monday went to another gathering in Saratoga, w OM and kids, in which they didn't get back until 10 pm last night, and D6 informs me 'Kelley stayed at mommy's house last night.'...
well its been a little while since I've been on the site...Hope everyone is doing well. I am like a buck in rut!!! Too many ladies and not enough time to sleep or eat. I have 5 going now but think I might cut it down to 3 to be easier...I feel so much better! I don't worry about what stbx is doing any more and frankly I don't care!
We had our child custody/child support hearing last week. I was relieved when the judge said I owed $78/month! I figured w her debt to income ratio I would be up around $350...Oh, how she cried and got mad at me for suggesting we stay at our agreed $112/month. She was hoping for more but thats life!!! She is sinking and sinking fast...But at least she has the OM to help her out.
My D6 is still finding the sitch hard to deal with. She told me last night she cries in her car seat when they kiss in front of her...she doesn't like him or want him as her new daddy...I told her there is only 1 daddy and that I am always a phone call away...that made her happy bc she knows its true...
All the best and good luck...My advise is, if they have no desire to come back or are whoring around...don't get mad...just cut them off and move on...life is too short! Have fun...and remember the more the merrier!!!
