I confronted her to not suggest that I was doing something bad to my son. She said, "get out of my sight." I told her I would not leave until I said what I had to. She said that I better find a place to stay soon.
Be calm. Focus on your goal - to give your M a fighting chance. I'm saying this knowing that I'm not doing so hot, either, but it is the right thing to do.
If she's going to leave a continuing/ended/ending affair (physical or not), she needs to be looking at a good future with you. Be that good future.
Even if you D, you will always know as will your S that you tried. A future W would also see you as a catch...so you win either way. But if the M is what you want, then aim only in that direction.
I am trying to do that, but the my luck or lack there of does not help.
I want my marriage, but I need a job soon that is permanent for me. I cannot force someone to hire me. It is still tough out there and very competitive to find a job.
I will keep doing my best.
Thanks!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
She said, "get out of my sight." I told her I would not leave until I said what I had to. She said that I better find a place to stay soon.
Don't let this scare you. Keep standing up for yourself. Does you phone have a camera? If she goes off on you and threatens to call the cops - start filming to protect yourself.
Stay focused on finding a great job for you. Keep being the best Dad you can. Bust the affair - boundaries and limited exposure.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Son would not get ready this morning, so I picked him up to take him to his room. He tried to grab this plastic container. He cried that he hurt his arm. She came running in that I the way I was doing things is wrong when she does nothing. He was acting like nothing happened moments later. I confronted her to not suggest that I was doing something bad to my son. She said, "get out of my sight." I told her I would not leave until I said what I had to. She said that I better find a place to stay soon.
I do not know how to handle my sitch so much these days.
Any suggestions?
LSG,
If your name is on the mortgage or the lease she cannot put you out.
What Coach said. Don't let her scare you. I've been there and done that. When you let go of being scared, you can think and plan much better. Let her get mad. Let her get however she wants, you can't stop it anyway. Just be the best you can be under terrible circumstances.
DLS is right, too. She can't force you out if you are on the mortgage. For a long time, I was sooooo close to leaving just to get away from her and her poisonous attitude. I would not be the one to leave the kids and have them ask why dad left them. She can leave anytime she want and I have been firm in that stance. Yes, it would be easier on us if we could up and leave. Don't do it and don't let her try and scare or force you into it.
Stay strong, stand your ground without being mean and you will be okay.
Well...My wife served me with a summons tonight for the Big D at 8:00 pm at night with the kids here. She said she had to go to the car for something. She said my name (in a real sweet voice) that somebody is her to see you. I knew what was going down. I just ignored it for awhile. She told me her mediator could come in. I accepted the Summons, and I told him to get out that he was not welcome here why it is still my house. My daughter started crying and my son was very upset too. I cannot believe she handled it this way. She put in it to terminate all spousal support to me from the court. I have taken care of the kids, her, and this place even though I have not had a job. It disgusts me. She tried to blame still for our marriage problems. I told her not to even pull that now.
I told her that the Divorce was her decision and that I never wanted a divorce and that I have always wanted our marriage and still do. I did tell her that I will not be a doormat and not fight for what is rightfully mine. I have contributed to my family in so many ways. It is not all about the money in a marriage.
I have a busy day tomorrow.
At the moment, I feel relieved like a big weight has been lifted from me. I also found out how much money she has in her savings which I will fight for.
Also I talked to the OMW and she was going to confront the OM after her son's graduation, and asked me not to tell W yet, and I agreed. That was then, but I will let it out tomorrow, and I will give the OMW a heads up tomorrow before I do it. I have to think about me and my family first for once. I hope this is the right decision. It is the only decision I have to make.
I have to do it. I cannot wait any longer.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Well...What do I do now, huh. I guess if she gets her way I will be homeless. I will see what I can do about that now. I am not scared, maybe I should be. I know. I am just so pissed at her and my situation. I will not do anything to cause myself problems. Whatever is decided I will have to accept. What can I do. Not much really. Just part of life.
Thanks to everyone that has helped me through these hard times. I guess it will get a lot harder.
I am greatful to have found this forum.
I guess I will not have access to a computer here soon. Hahaha!
Last edited by LSG; 05/18/1006:46 AM.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Well...My wife served me with a summons tonight for the Big D at 8:00 pm at night with the kids here. She said she had to go to the car for something. She said my name (in a real sweet voice) that somebody is her to see you. I knew what was going down. I just ignored it for awhile. She told me her mediator could come in. I accepted the Summons, and I told him to get out that he was not welcome here why it is still my house. My daughter started crying and my son was very upset too. I cannot believe she handled it this way. She put in it to terminate all spousal support to me from the court. I have taken care of the kids, her, and this place even though I have not had a job. It disgusts me. She tried to blame still for our marriage problems. I told her not to even pull that now.
I told her that the Divorce was her decision and that I never wanted a divorce and that I have always wanted our marriage and still do. I did tell her that I will not be a doormat and not fight for what is rightfully mine. I have contributed to my family in so many ways. It is not all about the money in a marriage.
I have a busy day tomorrow.
At the moment, I feel relieved like a big weight has been lifted from me. I also found out how much money she has in her savings which I will fight for.
Also I talked to the OMW and she was going to confront the OM after her son's graduation, and asked me not to tell W yet, and I agreed. That was then, but I will let it out tomorrow, and I will give the OMW a heads up tomorrow before I do it. I have to think about me and my family first for once. I hope this is the right decision. It is the only decision I have to make.
I have to do it. I cannot wait any longer.
Since she wants to be nasty - GET HALF just like your supposed to. Sometimes its not our wife anymore.
