Thanks everyone for your encouragement and energy (and thanks so much Fourleavclover for taking the time to come by and to post such nice things). To be frank, I wish this post would be different, but here goes anyway...
Yesterday I asked WH to contact me and spend some time talking about a few baby related decisions (who to have as godparents, if we wanted to do that).
WH sms me a few hrs later to say he is "swamped" with work (busy, busy, busy, hear!!) but he'll call me in the arvo. 9PM sms saying had a big day, tired (tired, tired, tired) and he'll call me tomorrow.
Calls me today and starts off OK because I answered the phone in good spirits: "Oh! It's the Mystery Man!" and he chuckled. He said, "Good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour", at which point I...lost my sense of humour! (groan).
Basically it went downhill from there, esp when I said (again ---groan) I would like more involvement from him, some financial and parenting assurances. He told me he didn't want to talk until after the baby was born (what? like when I am at my most comatosed? how fabulous for him!), that his refusal to see/meet/speak with me often and the breakdown of our marriage has nothing to do with OW. Ok then really embarrassing ---- I said are you saving your money up to bring OW out here? He said no. I said are you saving up to buy your ticket out of here? He said no. (pathetic me)
The one good thing he said was that he told me how much he is earning in his temporary job, that he would be buying the car seat, and that he was interested in going back alone to see the co-parenting psychiatrist we saw once together at my insistance (and who has seen me a lot indivually). I asked why. He couldn't really say. Then I asked if he wanted to see a relationships counselor so he could exit our marriage with some answers or due process, and he said No way, I don't need it. (yeah, right! and besides, I obviously do!!)
Then he said I don't want to talk anymore, I have an appointment. I said, well reschedule this conversation with me then. He said no, I don't want to talk to you again before the birth. And hung up on me.
So, feeling the dead end in front of me, I sent him an email saying I am done, I withdraw all my emotions and feelings, to collect all his belongings by Friday, to stay away from the hospital, that he would get a call when he can see the baby, and that we can leave all the financial stuff to lawyers. I also said I hoped he found good help and that things worked out for him.
I was suprised that I didn't break down after sending the email. And it was a good 8 hours ago.
