First, about the processing--being twins, yes, I have done the same thing. Almost a year of full-on all-out literal and mental/emotional running. And I am getting exhausted now, too. I wonder if when work really wraps up next week if I will come down with something.
OK--so we both have been so busy that we are keeping our "processing" more or less at bay. It's going on, it's happening, we're doing it, but not necessarily with full consciousness.
Should that be one of our goals? sort of like going on a diet together, but not as much fun.
I read your posts with Flowmom--I understand embracing the change while still grieving. Just the same as "grant me the wisdom to accept what I cannot change.." etc. Not saying I can do it! I can just understand it.
And now you have to re-settle yourself, so it is only natural that the roller coaster would sweep you up and take you up/down. Look it in the eye: Say: I know you are a roller coaster! I may be on you, but I am aware of it, aware of how I feel on this journey, and that knowledge will let me step off, or at least slow the ride down to a kiddie ride instead of Space Mountain.
And re: the dogs. You know--just say no. Frick it. You got dumped. You got no processing. You got no honesty about another woman. You left the house. YOU KEEP THE DOGS!
I don't know much about this "boundaries" stuff that older, wiser posters write about, but this sounds like one to set to me.
Visitation? sure. IF he is going to contribute to food and vet bills. But separating them? and separating you from one of them? What is this, "Sophie's Choice?"
You might have to find a way to afford to board them rather than leave them while you travel if you can't trust him to not dog-knap them.
Certainly be calm, friendly, have the discussion, but hold your bottom line. "No." and no guilt.
I CANNOT imagine how people with kids do this.
OK--you had a GAL weekend. You get a B+ on it. We want to see at least an A-. Look at Gardener--giving a hot girl drummer his phone number! Surely you can do something equally outside your comfort zone.
I did move my thread over to Surviving the Big D. Look for "so long, and thanks for the fish." I don't know how to link the threads, so I am hoping someone will help me with that.
Check over there for Avermont's GAL blush-worthy activities!
Good luck with the puppy conversation. Calm, cool, collected, courageous. You can do it.
