There was a chapter in "rational recovery" about the spouses of addicts that was really meaningful to me. One thing that comes to mind right now is that even though I'm still worried about W, it's really a relief to not feel responsibility for her anymore. I have no idea if she is drinking, or how much. I don't know what her mood is, whether she is manic or depressed, and I don't have to accommodate those things anymore. At first I didn't even recognize exactly what that big hole I was feeling/missing was. It will likely be good for her too, to rely only on herself for a while.
This shows real growth. I'm with ya on all counts!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
